Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spider-Man: Homecoming

I felt like I was watching a long cutscene from a mid-tier PS2 game.

It has all of the things I dislike about the other Marvel movies (dumb humor, dialogue, plot, etc.) and very little of the stuff I actually like about Spider-Man (swinging around NYC, jumping off skyscrapers, basically the stuff that made that Spider-Man 2 game so good). 

I like the idea of heroes that go around and stop crime, but even the way he does that is lame. Batman would be cooler if he actually killed bad guys, but at least he beats the living shit out of them. Spider-Man goes after people that are stealing bikes or jaywalking or whatever and punishes them by breaking their phone or making some dumb joke and doing a flip. He sucks.

People like these Marvel movies so much, so I just feel like I’m missing something about their appeal. This was the first one that I actually turned off before the ending, and I *never* do that. I had been considering seeing Thor: Ragnarok or Captain America: Winter Soldier, but I think Homecoming might be the one that finally makes me stop giving these movies a chance.

Michael Keaton is still cool, though.