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  • Python

    Python

    Update: I recently found out that some blog used this review as one of the professional reviews for Python on their review of the film, check it out here

    "Dude, you got me out of bed for a snake?"

    Python is a horrible mess of a film; not only does the Python have an estimated screen time of around three minutes, but the film boasts an "ensemble cast" that doesn't live up to any of the expectations of their previous…

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  • Sorority House Massacre II

    Sorority House Massacre II

    ★★½

    "No one puts a finger on my diviner."

    Exactly what I expected from a Jim Wynorski movie: cheap kills and even cheaper jokes.

    It's a pretty short movie, so it's hard not to hate it. I had a bit of fun with it, and it seemed like everybody had fun making it.

    It's not the most inventive movie, but it takes the piss out of itself, so it knows its bad, and that makes it kinda better.

  • Naked Zombie Girl

    Naked Zombie Girl

    ★★

    Naked Zombie Girl has a lot of great reviews here on Letterboxd and the internet, but don't be fooled, this short film sucks.

    Imagine a cheaper and lazier version of the Grindhouse "homage" films of the late 2000's, but with even more exploitation than anything else made in this era.

    The laziness that I'm talking about includes random "reel missing" text in very obvious iMovie Arial font, a scene where the titular character is supposed to be fighting zombies but…

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  • The Disaster Artist

    The Disaster Artist

    ★★★★

    1994: Johnny Depp as Ed Wood

    2017: James Franco as Tommy Wiseau

    2040: Adam Driver as Neil Breen

  • The Warriors

    The Warriors

    ★★★★★

    "Can you dig it?"

    Yes, I dig it, but try explaining this film to somebody and it sounds dumb:

    "So yeah there's this gang of men that wear vests that were framed into a high gang leader's assassination and now all the gang's are after them as they try to catch the train home. There's a gang that wears black singlets, a gang that wears black singlets with red stripes, a gang of mimes, a gang of basketball nuts, a…