• Escape Room: Tournament of Champions

    Escape Room: Tournament of Champions

    ★★

    I knew something was up when the psychologist didn't flag authorities after one of their clients said they were scared to FLY to NEW YORK to get REVENGE on people that have wronged them.

    Apart from that total goof, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions will only be remembered for one thing:

    (to set the scene, the people stuck in the Escape Room find out that they have all previously escaped an Escape Room)
    "So that makes this what? Tournament of champions?"

  • Comedy Central Roast of James Franco

    Comedy Central Roast of James Franco

    ★★★

    The jokes are funny and it looks like a lot of people were having fun, but James Franco is so cringe that it's too much to handle at some points. Franco's final speech comes off as incredibly pretentious, even if it is supposed to be a commentary on himself.

    The only segment I truly remembered was Andy Samberg's anti-roast segment, which I always thought could have been a direct parody of The Situation's roast of Donald Trump, but I could…

  • Only the Animals

    Only the Animals

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Only The Animals is "Alex Cameron's True Lies retold in the lens of a Coen Brothers' Dark Comedy.

    Surprising and interesting watch.

  • House Party

    House Party

    ★½

    For a comedy that cast two rappers, there really wasn't much rapping or comedy.

    I only laughed a couple times, and mostly at how badly the film aged. Not in a bad way, like racism or homophobia, but just at how unfunny some jokes were. Like "Ah the toilet's broken and there's dookie in the toilet" and Kid rapping to get out of getting sexually assaulted in prison ("Me a homo? Nah, man, that's a no-no"- okay so that could…

  • Cartel Land

    Cartel Land

    ★★★½

    I don't think those cartel hunks should be making meth shirtless but ok.

  • The Swan Princess

    The Swan Princess

    ★★

    It's fine, I guess, for a kid's movie.

    The voice acting is fine, with a perfect performance from Steven Wright as a turtle.

    Animation is fine as well. My major issue with this film is the plot and story; it's confusing. Basically, on the day of her wedding, a princes is cursed by an enemy of her family to be a swan unless the moon is out. The film sets up the entire life story of the princess up to…

  • The Taking of Deborah Logan

    The Taking of Deborah Logan

    ★★½

    Is Dementia-ploitation a film genre?

    If not, The Taking of Deborah Logan is the first film to be added to this new genre I am creating. If there were more before this, please correct me, but The Taking of Deborah Logan exploits dementia suffers into making them g-g-g-g-ghosts.

    Okay not ghosts, but poltergeists, which are just diet ghosts. Diet because no ghostly figures.

    Anyways, The Taking of Deborah Logan gets good at around the second act of the film, when…

  • Free Guy

    Free Guy

    ★★½

    Free Guy is a gaming movie for the Fortnite generation.

    You know how I know this? Well it includes the Fortnight unicorn stick, Fortnite streamers and flossing, not to mention awful jokes where the punchline is "this is a thing you know" instead of actual humour.

    Free Guy would have been a million times better if it only contained the "fish out of water" and silly humour of the scenes that aren't 100% pure cringe.

    Also, here's a list of…

  • Persepolis

    Persepolis

    ★★★★

    Pretty good but where's the scene where Marjane directs Ryan Reynolds in the hit movie The Voices?

  • Being John Malkovich

    Being John Malkovich

    ★★★½

    Could you imagine this with any other actor in the John Malkovich role?

    I can't.

  • Zappa

    Zappa

    ★★★

    This is a documentary more about the person Frank Zappa was than his music, which I can respect.

    Zappa the documentary is good, but falls into the usual trappings of a music documentary with the usage of stock footage and scene from 1950's b-movies.

    I honestly don't understand why so many music documentaries I've seen fall into this cycle, but at least it was better than the Saints documentary Stranded, which was 50% b-movie footage when it wasn't interviews and archival footage of the band.

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad

    ★★★½

    Not the first one to say it, and definitely not going to be the last one to say it but that this Suicide Squad reboot/sequel is wayyy better than the first.

    The Suicide Squad, not to be confused with the original Suicide Squad (this is the most confusing title sequence next to the Rambo franchise), takes the issues of the first film and just throws them in the trash. Everything that is wrong about the first film and superhero films…