Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom ½

FALLEN KINGDOM makes Jurassic World look like Jurassic Park.

a tedious, infuriating, and braindead ordeal that knowingly epitomizes so much of what’s wrong with modern blockbusters. i *hated* every cheap, cynical, ill-considered moment of this stupid fucking movie.

it's so thunderously awful that i almost *want* to watch the "Cinema Sins" video about it, just to try and keep score. almost. i can't think of a more damning criticism right now.

please for the love of god put this franchise out of my misery and kill the dinosaurs already. kill them all. start with Blue. i didn't spend my entire childhood looking under the bed for velociraptors just to be told that they're cute and huggable and i'm actually supposed to love these lizard killing machines now. i never imagined a haunted house movie about dinosaurs could possibly be this dumb. my mistake. my mistake, indeed.