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  • 9 Kisses

    9 Kisses

    ★★★

    1. jenny slate/rosario dawson (literally the only thing that has ever mattered to me)
    2. jack o'connell/shailene woodley
    3. laura dern/steve carrell
    4. david oyelowo/timothy spall
    5. gugu mbatha-raw/miles teller
    6. jason schwartzman/patricia arquette
    7. john lithgow/julianne moore
    8. chadwick boseman/kristen stewart
    9. benedict cumberbatch/reese witherspoon (get a job!!!! stay away from her!!)

  • Message from the King

    Message from the King

    ★★

    chadwick boseman must be really proud of landing roles in two of the world's biggest franchises: the marvel cinematic universe and the LA-is-a-shithole cinematic universe

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  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    imagine having to go up to a harry potter fan from 2008 and explain some of this shit to them. 
    "so," you'd say, voice breaking, "here's the thing. dumbledore's secret brother, who is at least 20 years younger than dumbledore, was in a relationship with voldemort's snake." 
    "wait, so aberforth fucks goats and this new one fucks snakes?" they'd say, laughing with the blissful ignorance of not yet thinking this is real.
    "well, she's sort of human."
    "oh, like an…

  • Black Panther

    Black Panther

    ★★★★½

    just a warning for all u bisexuals out there: you won't survive this movie. you just won't. i'm a lesbian and i was experiencing heart palpitations every time michael b. jordan was onscreen. please, save yourselves