• House of Darkness

    House of Darkness

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This is weird

    Neil LaBute writes the best shitty men

    This is a horror movie just for a specific type of bro!

    This guy can not stop talking

    Burned so slowly that I began to doubt it was going where I thought it was going.

    When did we shift into a vampire phase?

  • The Invitation

    The Invitation

    ★★★½

    Is this house cgi?

    For someone who's supposed to be on guard, she's awful trusting

    Yo, Walt looks just like the 😑emoji

    Is this a Downton Abbey?

    It's Get Out meets You're Next meets....well,you know

  • Do Revenge

    Do Revenge

    ★★★½

    Is this the first movie filmed entirely inside the source code of Instagram?

    Homage to clueless mean girls and heathers through the eyes of someone who found these movies as an 8year old.

    Dollar store Dave Franco is so punchable

    Kinda wanted them to fly off in the car like the end of Grease

    I feel old

  • Motherly

    Motherly

    ★★½

    This fucking kid....

    The sound design in this is really putting it all out there

    Holy shit, this coulda been produced by Amtrak, it was so on rails.

  • Speak No Evil

    Speak No Evil

    ★★★½

    Is this dread or just being a Dane?

    This is why you don't stay with strangers

    Now I'm not sure I want to go to the Netherlands

    This is why I won't make new friends

    In the US remake this dummy husband is for sure gonna be named Dave

    Jeez

  • The Million Eyes of Sumuru

    The Million Eyes of Sumuru

    ★★½

    This movie is better when you realize that it's shot at Shaw Brothers Studio, and can start playing "Hey! that's the set from...."

    Man, the 70s were something else

  • Open Windows

    Open Windows

    ★★½

    This feels like watching an FMV game, or a bunch of videogame cut scenes

    Is this a corporate compliance training video about the danger of phishing emails?

    How does she not hear the guy in her closet talking to Frodo?

    Creepy dude has a bad day because of creepier guy... This is your protagonist?

    Oh wait, I've already seen this...it's fuckin wacky

  • Fletch Lives

    Fletch Lives

    ★★

    Fletch tried to warn us... In his own problematic way

    Man, this movie is wild

  • Confess, Fletch

    Confess, Fletch

    ★★★★★

    Man, I do love some Jon Hamm... But I keep picturing Chevy delivering some of these lines.

    More Fletch, Grizz, and Monroe stories please

    “5 Stars”

  • CHiPS

    CHiPS

    ★★

    Watching for Michael Peña... Let's see how this goes

    Um....well....there is certainly a lot of good people in this.

    How did this come out in 2017… it feels very 2005

    Vincent D'Onofrio is way too good for this

    I didn't hate it, but....

  • The Other Side

    The Other Side

    ★★½

    Is this about the horrors of hooking up your much older.... I don't know.... College professor? Architect? Dock worker? What the fuck does this guy do?

    Man, white dudes HATE listening to women and children

    It wasn't bad, just a tad derivative

  • Thor: Love and Thunder

    Thor: Love and Thunder

    ★★★★

    This is a romantic comedy in a Flash Gordon skin, what were you expecting?

    Why all the complaints? Have we forgotten what it means to be campy and a little stupid? I mean..... SCREAMING GOATS!

    Does Thor have armpit hair now?

    Christian Bale was so good

    Russel Crowe is in his Brando phase!