The Happening

The Happening ★½

With a virus ravaging the planet at the moment there's been a clamour for disaster flicks with the likes of Outbreak and Contagion leading the list of films to watch while self-isolating. Personally it's films like 28 Days Later, The Omega Man, or even the Will Smith shit I Am Legend which resonate more for me around the deserted streets where I live. To be fair, anything that distracts us from arguably the worst global pandemic in living memory is fine by me, but although I intend to watch all three of those aforementioned films in the next week or so, I thought I'd watch one of those lesser-loved films about another threat to humanity itself, and I don't mean Mark Wahlberg's acting.

The Happening was the middle film of a triple bill of utter shit from M. Night Shyamalan. Lady In The Water was self-indulgent nonsense that made about as much sense as a drunken tramp, but The Happening was one of those films that you walked out of stunned at what you'd witnessed. It was hard to believe that this was the same director of The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, and remarkably it actually made money? Described by the man himself as a "paranoia movie", a slang term for bollocks if you ask me, that despite the dreadful script, Wahlberg's woeful performance, and Zooey Deschanel's utter disinterest and embarrassment at some of the lines she gets to dispense, it's a film that does make you think? We've been treating the planet shamefully for far too long now, so much damage has been done to the environment that future generations may well have to adapt to a very different lifestyle with rising sea-levels and air pollution threatening the very air that they breath. It's obvious that Greta Thunberg and this hypnotic film has convinced me to become a more thoughtful and caring environmentalist towards the planet and plants in particular. I've been talking to a Yucca plant we have, giving him compliments and positive vibes, I've named him Gerald, don't ask me why, he's green and Gerald sounds like an Irish name doesn't it?

I've been tempted lately to rank Mark Wahlberg's performances, but here he gets out-acted by a fucking plastic plant, so I thought, what's the fucking point?

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