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  • Ocean's 8

    Ocean's 8

    ★★

    Someone come give this crew their props for somehow creating the most boring, straightforward heist film of all time. Like really, WOW. How much planning must it have taken for the writer and director to come up with ways to make a blockbuster movie completely devoid of conflict and entertainment? Quite a long time, I bet. The only saving grace of Ocean's 8 is the insanely talented list of actresses involved, and I don't know about you, but I can only stare at people in a shitty movie for so long before I start wondering where the rest of the movie is.

  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ★★★★½

    This film had me in cold, anxious sweats through nearly everything past the first 30 mins. I left the theatre after it finished, but couldn't stop thinking about what I had just seen. The allegorical nature of the plot (up until the end), the eerie and dissonant score, Toni Collette's extremely convincing performance as a grief-stricken mother spiraling into madness, the many unforgivingly violent and gory on-screen deaths; these are all aspects of Hereditary that stuck with me long after…

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  • A Quiet Place

    A Quiet Place

    ★★★½

    This movie had me in the theatre feeling like if I rustled my bag of sour Skittles too loudly a fuckin brown Xenomorph would swoop in and impale me with it's arm lmao

  • Phantom Thread

    Phantom Thread

    ★★★★

    Phantom Thread is quite simple and straightforward compared to the director's previous films, but is still able to retain a sense of mystery and a dash of spirituality. The plot is akin to the classic romance novels typical of the Bronte sisters and Jane Austen, and I mean that in the best way possible. While this aspect may cause some folks to call the film boring, those who can appreciate a slow-burn love story with a tear-inducing twist so subtle…