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Lucy has written 28 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Joker

    Joker

    ★½

    “i don’t believe in anything”

    surface level fare for audiences that crave some shock value but aren’t willing to go looking for something better, or deeper. i didn’t feel much of anything the entire duration, indifference turning to eventual boredom. the last act definitely gave me something more to work with, but by that point i’d already lost all interest and just wanted to get out of there. joaquin is always good at playing unhinged, sure, but i’d pass on…

  • Tell It to the Bees

    Tell It to the Bees

    ★½

    too many cgi bees, not enough making out. and why did this feel like a poorly written horror movie? what year is it? how could anna paquin betray me like this?

  • Shazam!

    Shazam!

    ★½

    wants so badly to be deadpool lite, ends up looking more like the book of henry of superhero movies. i said what i said

  • Five Feet Apart

    Five Feet Apart

    ★½

    haley lu went from columbus and support the girls to THIS? but honestly i’m not even mad at her, get that paycheck girl

  • Isn't It Romantic

    Isn't It Romantic

    ★½

    this could not decide what it wanted to be: it had a horrible script to begin with and then tried to ride the line between parody and full on actual rom com, but sadly in this case those two genres might as well be oil and water. foolishness!

  • Mary Poppins Returns

    Mary Poppins Returns

    ★½

    mary poppins floated down with her umbrella at stonewall and said “here’s a brick. have fun”

  • Escape Room

    Escape Room

    ★½

    me in the escape room: deborah ann woll i’m gonna get you outta here

  • Burning

    Burning

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “sometimes you can’t see things that are too close to you”

    this didn’t do it for me at all. i can see the potential appeal, but it couldn’t appeal to me less. the ambiguity serves no purpose and has not much endgame, and it feels too long regardless. the movie (and the protagonist) don’t seem to really care about her, or what happened to her, but only how HE feels about it. and it feels lazy and pointless

  • In Fabric

    In Fabric

    ★½

    AFI 2018: film #11

    “don’t tell me you’re scared of a dress”

    a feature length explicit goosebumps book adaptation, but to say that would be insulting to goosebumps

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★½

    “happy halloween, michael”

    the thing about the original that’s drawn people in for 40 years is how well it’s crafted: the music, the specific angles and the way the camera swings around. the tension and the mystery of it. but like so many before and after it, this one genuinely great movie fell victim to franchising, which always waters the original down if the rest are compared to it

    but honestly? my biggest issue here is my complete lack of interest…

  • Venom

    Venom

    ★½

    would you believe that this is the first feature film with a script completely auto generated by a robot? it's not true, but it would make sense

  • Sicario: Day of the Soldado

    Sicario: Day of the Soldado

    ★½

    if this movie had a face i would punch it