Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

okay, okay. we've had 3 months. let's play a real quick game of pretend. close your eyes. or just pretend they're being closed.

let's pretend that:
- this movie, as an event, is not caught in the dumbest sector of the dumbest culture war being waged on the dumbest continent on earth.
- this movie, as a movie, is not made solely for the purpose of acquiring money for a company richer than the blue heaven, with any actual goodwill treated as a bonus framework to build every other movie said massive company funds for the next 4 years

okay. open your pretend-closed eyes back up. this movie now exists outside of any real context. it came from space, made by space aliens and otherworldly benefactors with no skin in the game concerning the human race, other than just trying to give them a story.

what do you see? it's just there, at the edge of your mind, you can re-center it back in if you just try hard enough. it's coming into the center, coming into focus... there! the final shape of this movie! read its story! read the tale given to us, and know it's refined form!

oh god.
oh my god, it's FACE/OFF.

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