i know a little bit about some stuff. not much, maybe not as much as you. but i do know a little bit.

i know what it's like to sit there, in a warm empty room with a fake desk and a fake chair, running yourself through the motions of swallowing what you feel and who you are just to get through what's going to come through that fake door

i know what it's like looking at the lines of pleasant, sated contempt racing across another person's face when you say "it's nothing" or "nevermind" or "forget it"

i know what it's like to stand closer to the train than anyone else at the station as it comes in, thinking harder about your next 5 seconds than any human being should ever have to

i know what it's like to be on the way home from some terrible fucking day, to look out the window on the ride and remember when you could see yourself flying along the window. sure, at the time you never thought it was you, how on earth could you move so fast? never realizing the only way you could see it was because you were already at that speed.

i know what it's like to lose someone you really loved. some complete stranger who found YOU, who loved YOU, who made you more than who you felt you were. i know what it's like to hear they're gone, to hear they left. to still feel that love from them, every day. every day of our lives.

they don't stop loving you. i promise.

i know what it's like to be marched in front of someone, knowing what you saw and what you feel, and the utter indignity of denying each and every piece of it out loud just so things "don't get out of hand." just so everyone but you can go home. just so people don't ask any more stupid fucking questions

i know, just a little bit, only a little more than what you've told me, about the way you have been asked to take every good thing in your life as fortune. how you have striven and flown and pulled your world apart just for what you deserve. how you have fought like a master fencer and a mad dog, superimposed over one another, facing a single opponent. i won't dare say it inspires me. who wants to hear that, from someone who knows you so little? your light is singular, it is yours.

keep going. keep going, because you've done marvelously so far. keep asking, keep fighting, keep flying.

"holy forgiveness! mercy! charity! faith! holy! ours! bodies! suffering! magnanimity!
holy the supernatural extra brilliant intelligent kindness of the soul!"