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  • The Strange Vice of Mrs Wardh

    The Strange Vice of Mrs Wardh

    ★★★★

    Time til bottle of J&B: 36 minutes, 24 seconds

    Sergio Martino's crowning achievement that isn't Hands of Steel, of course. Beautiful 1970s Europe filled with beautiful people being murdered, beautifully. Add a perfect ending on top of it all and you get a classic of the genre. I've never got up and danced at the end of a giallo before, because I actually solved and predicted the killer before. Mostly because I'm a terrible junior sleuth and drinks were involved. Also...what's that I hear coming this way? Is it...yes, I believe it is! It's another amazing soundtrack to a giallo!

  • Beauty and the Beast

    Beauty and the Beast

    ★★★★

    I missed about 30 minutes towards the end because I fell asleep. I had taken some CBD gummies to mellow out before bed though, so it wasn't the movie's fault. Besides, the plot isn't the important part of Beauty and the Beast. It's all about getting some of that child like wonderment back into your life, and Cocteau doesn't fuck about. A simple delight.

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  • Mandy

    Mandy

    ★★★★★

    Nick Cage watches the Don Dohler classic Night Beast at one point in the movie. I wish I could give it more than five stars.

    All joking aside, I thought Mandy was amazing and it has broken my brain. All I can do is think about Mandy...and the Cheddar Goblin.

  • Creepshow

    Creepshow

    ★★★★

    I think I relate to Steven King’s character more than any other in the history of film. Not so much the turning into a moss monster and shooting myself in the face, but the staying up way too late watching crummy TV while getting completely trashed part.

    P.S.
    Leslie Neilsen’s velour tracksuit is pure sex.