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Recent reviews

  • Suspiria



    watched this with my roommate and he said it was cool/scary that the witches didn't have green make-up and hooked noses...................he hasn't seen a witch movie beyond wizard of oz i guess

    full review to come upon rewatch

  • Arachnophobia



    Honestly? The perfect creature feature.

    The spiders are too good, thereโ€™s the perfect balance of comedy and horror, and all the set pieces are terror-inducing...fuck Jaws, I have more lifelong neuroses and fears inspired by this film than any fear of the beach. I check my shoes, shower, and toilet seat daily because of this film and itโ€™s tiny spiders...fuck ever owning a barn.

    And I love the long ass jungle opening, this movie is just cool to watch.

Popular reviews

  • The Thing

    The Thing


    Turns out I've never reviewed this which is unfortunate. However, I'm not surprised as behemoths of horror cinema like this become harder and harder to review as they crystallize into something larger than the film canon they originated from.

    The Thing is one of those horrors where any review grows to involve its impact in cinema. Its 5-stars incapsulate the movies its influenced, the nostalgia its bred, the pop culture language its created, and the personal connections/memories its formed...the ratingsโ€ฆ

  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2


    Fucking bonkers, a sequel distorted through funhouse mirrors, especially that off-the-rails third act.

    In a lot of ways, Hooper has removed all of the grit and stark reality that made the first one terrifying and iconic. With all of that gone, the sequel's been injected with this bright campy comedy, and its easy to see how the film has slipped into cult status. As a horror, the only thing worth mentioning is that closet jump scare (!) and the forcedโ€ฆ