Avengers: Infinity War ★★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

good
• it's very cool that this exists, and it's exciting to know that you're living in A Moment
• everyone i loved before was just as good here
• thor is the coolest all of a sudden
• the action rules, and is SO fun
• doesn't feel like 160 minutes
• tom holland and danai gurira in that last scene

bad
• it is 160 minutes
• and still feels overstuffed
• okay but really, this music. i know it can't be changed because its a motif of the franchise but it really helped make things not feel
• none of this feels real. emotionally or visually
• all of the acting feels bad, and the world just feels so much faker than usual
- (i think this is the arrested development effect s4, maybe. where having to shoot so many people in different locations makes none of it feel or look real)
- i also think this is the end result of having to direct a series of differently-styled franchises as if they're a single-style of movie? like, you're trying to mimic a bunch of other directors' unique takes, of course you're going to end up having a singular product that feels more in-the-center
• every attempt to humanize thanos did not work for me
• the ending doesn't work for me because marvel's future is so well-known and so well-publicized; i know everyone's (except maybe gamora) coming back next year, so i don't feel anything for their losses (except spider-man and okoye because, great acting)
• the post-credits scene makes a joke out of the same thing that causes the emotional ending, which makes the emotional ending feel even more fake
• i do not like every character whose personality demands that they are always trying to be cool or purposefully crack jokes. the jokes never work for me and they don't balance emotion very well when they need to (star-lord, iron man, doctor strange, rocket)
• please don't make the 'twist' ending of your movie "we lied about this not being part one of a story. it's part one of a story."
• thor losing his eye was a great moment from ragnarok because it felt permanent. why would they undo it (i've heard "hemsworth hated wearing it" but i wish they'd written that better into the plot instead of just as a sudden retcon then)

hmm
• this movie made me realize: it is truly, no-sarcasm-at-all, fascinating to me the way people will defend contrivances in some films, and completely will themselves to them in other. as i sat in the theatre realizing the things i hated, i realized a lot of them also existed in some form in The Last Jedi. and i realized them because people have been pointing them out in some form ever since december, but the same audiences seem to argue hypothetical defenses for them being in this movie. it's interesting, and a more-proactive person than me could probably write a terrific paper on the psychological way people approach this franchise vs. star wars.
• if doctor strange knew losing to thanos was the only way to eventually win why the fuck would he still make a big deal of fighting him in the first place
• i have seen people compare this to Empire Strikes Back
• for real, just TELL me next time ant-man ain't in the fuckin' movie!!! i love the boy!!!


anyway, i ranked all the mcu heroes and movies. i cannot believe i have spent so much of my brain on these movies.

1. Thor/Captain America
3. Drax
4. Mantis
5. Ant-Man
6. Spider-Man
7. Okoye
8. Shuri
9. Iron Man
10. Bucky
11. T’Challa
12. Hulk
13. Black Widow
14. Groot (adult)
15. Nick Fury
16. Loki
17. Rocket
18. Gamora
19. Scarlet Witch
20. Doctor Strange
21. Vision
22. Hawkeye
23. Wong
24. Groot (teen)
25. Nebula
26. Quicksilver

27. Rhodey
28. Heimdall
29. Maria
30. Falcon
31. Groot (baby)
32. Star-Lord

1. Spider-Man: Homecoming
2. Ant-Man
3. Captain America: Civil War
4. Black Panther
5. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
6. The Avengers
7. Thor: Ragnarok
8. Iron Man 3
9. Iron Man
10. Captain America: The First Avenger
11. Guardians of the Galaxy
12. Avengers: Infinity War
13. Doctor Strange
14. Iron Man 2
15. Thor
16. Avengers: Age of Ultron
17. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
18. Thor: The Dark World
19. The Incredible Hulk

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