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  • Joker

    Joker

    ★★

    This movie means nothing. They just went “what’s big right now? incels and antifa? those are the same” and rolled it all into an existing character that could use politically and socially relevant anxieties as developing characteristics... but to make absolutely no “message.” and no, films don’t have to have a message (lemme just preempt that dumb comment someone always wants to make) but it’s so clear that this movie wants you to think it has one. it doesn’t. joker…

  • Abominable

    Abominable

    ★★½

    The back-to-back combo of this with The NeverEnding Story made me realize that fantasy/adventure films aren’t gone, they’ve just been scooped up by children’s animation. Which is something of a bummer- but not completely awful! At least the genre still exists. This was perfectly fine. I experienced a very shameful frisson during a strange Coldplay needle-drop and my dad kept humming along to melodies they made for the film as if he’d heard them before.

  • The NeverEnding Story

    The NeverEnding Story

    ★★

    Just saw this movie for the first time— I distinctly remember it being played during daycare when I was a child, and I dreaded the idea of a movie that was truly “never-ending,” and thought it actually WAS somehow an infinite movie, because I kept leaving and coming back and it was still playing. The movie is 94 minutes long.

    Anyways, I think it’s bad? The production design is fantastic and the puppetry is super cool. But the editing is…

  • Point Break

    Point Break

    I showed up to my friend’s party a little late and missed crucial parts of the first act so I won’t rate this, but this movie was way more insane than I had previously thought? But I... loved it. And want more of this psychosexual cop-and-robber-love-each-other dynamic.

  • The Florida Project

    The Florida Project

    ★★★★★

    “I feel bad for her because she’s about to cry. I can always tell when adults are about to cry.”


    I’ve seen this movie four times now because I think it’s fun to feel my heart break a little more and more each time I watch it. The hero shot of Bobby walking out of the electrical closet after fixing the power and being cheered on by the motel is my new favorite moment on this watch.

  • Over the Garden Wall

    Over the Garden Wall

    ★★★★

    absolutely peak cuteness

  • Ad Astra

    Ad Astra

    ★★★★

    [CREDITS ROLL]
    CLAIRE DENIS: hm. so no cum? you’re allowed to... just none of it?

  • Hustlers

    Hustlers

    ★★★½

    The fun parts are so great, the serious emotional parts didn’t land too hard for me, and the relationship dynamics between JLo and ConWu (workin on it) felt so malleable and quick-changing in the second half of the film. But this movie still rules. JLo is terrific, Keke Palmer is hilarious, Cardi B is perfect, and I would watch a full 2 hour film that was just a Linklater-style hangout movie in the dressing room of that strip club.

  • Over the Garden Wall

    Over the Garden Wall

    ★★★★

    honestly i was tired and in a post-IT fugue when i watched this so i dozed off for a lil bit but this is so sweet and funny and lovely and i’m actually excited to watch it again

  • It Chapter Two

    It Chapter Two

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It has been a looooong time since I disliked a big studio blockbuster as much as I disliked this one. The script is awful, the balance of humor and horror is so fucking slapdash and without concern for really nailing one or the other, and so much of this movie feels like Muschietti really wanted to sit in the theater next to a 15 year old watching it so he could lean over with a smirk and go "Pretty fucked…

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Watched the score-only version of this movie and it still absolutely fucking rules. I honestly feel like every scene makes me go "oh shit! I forgot all about how great this was."

    • Paige Tico's heroic moment in the opening scene absolutely works on me, and it's wild how such a minor character sticks with me every time I watch this movie.

    • I love the porgs. I love them.

    • Wise old hermit legend Luke on his mountain is…

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    ★★★★

    War? Now, war is hell. But a Star War? That's hell too– hella fun! You gotta love movies!