Derenzo
Derenzo

Derenzo

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  • Summer of 84

    Summer of 84

    ★★

    Man, did I not like this.

    It’s awkwardly paced from frame one, and never quite rights itself or finds a groove. It’s script feels forced and lazy. These kids have practically zero chemistry together and almost no charm on their own. Seriously, I wasn’t feeling this one at all.

    And boring. Just drawn out and boring.

    Rather than dig it’s heels into a game of cat and mouse, ala Fright Night, it plays at a mystery to it’s own detriment.…

  • Meridian

    Meridian

    ★★

    At the intersection of The Wolfman, Dead Ringers, Beauty and The Beast and La Bete lies this 4 car pile-up where Charley Band attempts to convince you a full-on rapist is actually a nice guy cause he’s some kinda suicidal beast-man.

    Gets watchablity points for featuring Sherilyn Fenn and Charlie Spradling naked, but Band makes damn sure it’s plenty uncomfortable so you don’t enjoy it too much.

    Should appeal to that niche subset of folks that like watching Beast creatures…

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  • Cannibal Holocaust

    Cannibal Holocaust

    ★★★★★

    It may sound (and it certainly seems) cruel to willfully murder animals on screen as Cannibal Holocaust is notorious for and wont to do.

    However, this techinque (moralistically dubious as it may be) allows the movie to transcend the mere presence of a gore picture. By the time the cannibals begin killing the filmmakers, you believe it wholeheartedly. You are not thinking "Oh my, what a wonderful special effect that is." You're thinking "Jesus fuck, they're fucking killing these fucking…

  • The Karate Kid, Part III

    The Karate Kid, Part III

    ★★★★★

    Ten years ago, nuclear was the preferred waste. You could dump it anywhere! Now...everybody's a detective!

    I absolutely love The Karate Kid Part III. I know you don't, but you should.

    Why should you love it? Well, there's a lot of reasons, but most of them just boil down to 3 words:

    Terry Fucking Silver.

    Where the fuck did he come from? He feels like he's plugged in from some bizarro, unmade Bond film - so unapologetically villainous, so cartoonishly…