Derenzo
Derenzo

Derenzo

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  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Solo: A Star Wars Story

    ★★★

    Within the seemingly endless expanse that is the Star Wars universe, there’s easily a 100 different stories you could tell that have the potential to be far more interesting, and involving and exciting and entertaining than anything thus far found in the franchise. And none of it has to have anything to do with what we’ve previously seen.

    Naw? You just wanna make some dumb Han Solo movie? One that removes the very thing that made Han Solo likable to…

  • Iron Angels 3

    Iron Angels 3

    ★★★½

    Holy shit, this rules. It’s like someone gave Godfrey Ho a lot more money but forgot to tell him he could use it to shoot one cohesive movie,...and then accidentally gave that money to someone more competent...but then forget to tell them too.

    It’s on amazon prime right now and you should totally watch it.

    If I enumerated all the reasons why, it might take away from them.

    Okay, I’ll spoil one: a shit load of dudes tearing up a…

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  • Cannibal Holocaust

    Cannibal Holocaust

    ★★★★★

    It may sound (and it certainly seems) cruel to willfully murder animals on screen as Cannibal Holocaust is notorious for and wont to do.

    However, this techinque (moralistically dubious as it may be) allows the movie to transcend the mere presence of a gore picture. By the time the cannibals begin killing the filmmakers, you believe it wholeheartedly. You are not thinking "Oh my, what a wonderful special effect that is." You're thinking "Jesus fuck, they're fucking killing these fucking…

  • The Karate Kid, Part III

    The Karate Kid, Part III

    ★★★★★

    Ten years ago, nuclear was the preferred waste. You could dump it anywhere! Now...everybody's a detective!

    I absolutely love The Karate Kid Part III. I know you don't, but you should.

    Why should you love it? Well, there's a lot of reasons, but most of them just boil down to 3 words:

    Terry Fucking Silver.

    Where the fuck did he come from? He feels like he's plugged in from some bizarro, unmade Bond film - so unapologetically villainous, so cartoonishly…