Favorite films

  • Napoleon
  • The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
  • To Be or Not to Be
  • McCabe & Mrs. Miller

Recent activity

  • Shine a Light


  • The Merry Widow


  • The Kid Stays in the Picture


  • The Offer

Recent reviews

  • The Merry Widow

    The Merry Widow


    I know, I know. Anja and I have a downright unhealthy relationship with this movie. We're at the point where we can basically recite each line a good ten to fifteen seconds before the line is uttered. Send help.

    Anyways: finally bumping this up to five stars despite its minor flaws in honour of its considerable services towards humanity.*

    On an unrelated note: this would make an unbelievable double bill with THE SCARLET EMPRESS. Just-under-the-wire-of-the-code satires of central/eastern Europe, each equally ridiculous, and only one of them a comedy.

    *Humanity = my mental health and well-being.

  • The Kid Stays in the Picture

    The Kid Stays in the Picture


    · Yet another entry in my "works for which the subsequent parody was my first reference point" canon.

    · With that in mind: Mr. Runner Up Parts 1 & 2 aren't Documentary Now at their finest (they're middling episodes despite Hader's wonderful Evans impression), and that perhaps contributed to this significantly overshooting my expectations. It's great fun: Evans' unreliability as a narrator is foregrounded early on, so we're invited to experience this more as a stream-of-consciousness monologue from a particularly interesting character than we are as a sober recounting of events that happened. It helps that the rhythmic groove this settles into is highly pleasing.

Popular reviews

  • The Offer

    The Offer


    Based on Albert S. Ruddy's experience of making the Godfather.

    • One of the most unfocused, hagiographic, self-indulgent pieces of cinematic autofellatio I've ever seen. It's 600* minutes of unmitigated accidental cringe comedy. Five stars.

    • There's just straight-up too much to talk about here. I don't even know where to begin.

    • Matthew Goode's work as Robert Evans is actively fucking great. Maybe I'm overrating him here because he's thrown into relief against the catastrophic incompetence that…

  • Beauty and the Beast

    Beauty and the Beast

    Okay so let's get this straight:

    In the 1991 version, The Beasts's servants are transformed into household objects. They're lovable cartoon characters, full of life and expression despite the fact that they ought to be kinda creepy. They're restored back to humans after Belle and The Beast break the curse.

    In the 2017 version, The Beast's servants slowly devolve into inanimate household objects throughout the story. By the time Belle meets them, they've become these barely-human Cronenbergian horrors whose every…