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  • Marriage Story

    Marriage Story

    ★★★★

    There's a direct correlation between how intolerable a Noah Baumbach film is and how good it is, and I wanted to claw my eyes out for around 70% of this thing. Therefore, it's his best since Margot.

  • The Irishman

    The Irishman

    ★★★★½

    They are all equal now

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  • Beauty and the Beast

    Beauty and the Beast

    Okay so let's get this straight:

    In the 1991 version, The Beasts's servants are transformed into household objects. They're lovable cartoon characters, full of life and expression despite the fact that they ought to be kinda creepy. They're restored back to humans after Belle and The Beast break the curse.

    In the 2017 version, The Beast's servants slowly devolve into inanimate household objects throughout the story. By the time Belle meets them, they've become these barely-human Cronenbergian horrors whose every…

  • The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

    The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

    ★★★★★

    It's interesting to see this film's gradual rediscovery as a masterpiece of the western genre by the wider cinephile community; in the cinematography community it might be the most widely fetishized film of the 21st century that doesn't have the names "Cuaron" and "Lubezki" in its credits, and it's been that way ever since it came out a decade ago.

    I just realized that I've set myself up to argue some sort of counterpoint to this canonization, but I'm not…