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  • Cars 2

    Cars 2


    There's a car Pope? How does that work? Was there a car Jesus? Was he even a car? Or a cart? How do you crucify a cart? Does the car Pope oppose the use of contraception? How do cars reproduce? Can cars only do it with similar models of car? What does a baby car look like? Why are there pavements? And seriously, there's a CAR POPE?

  • Nocturnal Animals

    Nocturnal Animals


    Huge disappointment. Empty. And kind of insulting too. Tom Ford basically stops the film every ten minutes so he can point out what a great film he's making.

Popular reviews

  • Captain America: Civil War

    Captain America: Civil War


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Some thoughts:
    — What an inconsequential mess. A dense quiche of a film. 
    — It could all be resolved if the characters just had a conversation, or maybe didn't make huge decisions based on a poorly printed fax.
    — You know those overstuffed and beige ensemble films like New Year's Eve and Valentines Day? It's basically one of those. 
    — Remember how much fun the first Captain America film was? Yeah, we're a long way from there now. Dour is…

  • La La Land

    La La Land