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  • Tangled

    Tangled

    ★★★★★

    Tangled, Frozen, Moana … Disney makes better superhero movies than Marvel or DC (and yes I realise Marvel is Disney. But you know what I mean). 


    They manage to wrap the adventure up with humour and romance and coming of age stuff into proper STORIES. So much better than yet another Middle Aged White Guys Sulking At Each Other: The Motion Picture. 

    And in shared universes, if every single character is super, eventually none of them are. Disney films, the…

  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

    ★★★

    Still merely okay. If only the leads weren't so exceedingly dull or the plot so unnecessarily convoluted.

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  • Captain America: Civil War

    Captain America: Civil War

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Some thoughts:
    — What an inconsequential mess. A dense quiche of a film. 
    — It could all be resolved if the characters just had a conversation, or maybe didn't make huge decisions based on a poorly printed fax.
    — You know those overstuffed and beige ensemble films like New Year's Eve and Valentines Day? It's basically one of those. 
    — Remember how much fun the first Captain America film was? Yeah, we're a long way from there now. Dour is…

  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Some thoughts:

    — By far the highlight of this was seeing the Blade Runner 2049 trailer that preceded the film. Very. Excited.

    — If you spend half a film thinking "How do you spell longueurs? I think I might need to write longueurs later", that's not a great sign.

    — Oh the longueurs. It takes about an hour for anything to happen, and when it does, the film STILL hasn't established any of the characters! Every time someone died, I…