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  • Edge of Tomorrow

    Edge of Tomorrow

    ★★★★

    So very, very, very fun. Right up until the last fifteen minutes, when it loses the time and, for some reason, all lighting. Impossible to make out what’s going on unless you watch it in a pitch black room. 


    Still, FUN. Fits into the mini genre of video game movies not based on video games, alongside Source Code and Moon.

  • Oblivion

    Oblivion

    ★★★½

    The script is a bit wonky at times, but the production design, cinematography and sound are absolutely sublime. Like looking at a portfolio of awesome concept art, if that makes any sense at all.

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  • Captain America: Civil War

    Captain America: Civil War

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Some thoughts:
    — What an inconsequential mess. A dense quiche of a film. 
    — It could all be resolved if the characters just had a conversation, or maybe didn't make huge decisions based on a poorly printed fax.
    — You know those overstuffed and beige ensemble films like New Year's Eve and Valentines Day? It's basically one of those. 
    — Remember how much fun the first Captain America film was? Yeah, we're a long way from there now. Dour is…

  • Gnomeo & Juliet

    Gnomeo & Juliet

    ★★½

    "So it's Romeo and Juliet. For kids. Set to the hits of Elton John. And they're all gnomes. Peter is an ornamental reindeer played by Ozzy Osbourne."

    "Perfect! Here's all of the money!"

    "And I have this other idea: Lord of the Flies, but with gir—"

    "GET OUT OF MY OFFICE."