Captain America: Civil War ★★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Some thoughts:
— What an inconsequential mess. A dense quiche of a film. 
— It could all be resolved if the characters just had a conversation, or maybe didn't make huge decisions based on a poorly printed fax.
— You know those overstuffed and beige ensemble films like New Year's Eve and Valentines Day? It's basically one of those. 
— Remember how much fun the first Captain America film was? Yeah, we're a long way from there now. Dour is probably the best word for this one. 
— Chris Evans looks SO bored. 
— This is desperately in need of Daredevil's brutal/coherent action and room for character development. 
— New Spidey is handled well, and is a vital injection of fun in the whole thing. Interesting fact: Tom Holland is the first teenager to play Spider-Man. 
— I really want to watch Only You now.
— Hand-wringing about destruction from previous films is all very mature and sensible, but it kind of makes you feel bad for enjoying those other films. 
— "Hi Scarlett, welcome to the set! Right, if you could just crouch down and look a bit miffed. There we go. Okay, great! We'll get your stunt double to fill in the rest. See you next year!"
— Damn that was an awkward and unnecessary kiss between the hero and his girlfriend's niece.
— Hey look it's Martin Fr— nope, he's gone. 
— Actually, you know when you watch a film and one character has obviously had their scenes cut drastically to keep the film short and coherent? That's every single character in this.
— So many damn fine characters are wasted. For example, Hawkeye turns up. That's it. That's his big character moment. Turning up.
— Superheroes are only super when surrounded by those who aren't. If everyone is super, nobody is. The big central fight, which goes on for about four hours, gets very boring very quickly.  
— This all seems very critical, doesn't it? It was quite enjoyable, but I love the MCU and just want it to try harder. 
— "Okay everyone, before we start, please take a moment to think about what accent your character had last year. YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU, SPARE OLSEN TWIN."
— It's good that Marvel have got over the whole destruction of the world thing. Constantly having the stakes that high gets a bit boring after a while. 
— So has Samuel L Jackson worked through his contact now? Is he done?
— Empire gave this film five FIVE STARS. Good grief. 
The Incredible Suit review is well worth a read, as usual.

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