The Matrix ★★★

I was all braced for a couple of hours of dependably fantastic cinema and … okay … so … um … 

The Matrix is a bit crap. 

It wasn't. Back in 1999, it was incredible. But the intervening years of parody and influence and – oh dear lord – sequels have been exceedingly unkind. Overfamiliarity cuts through the spectacle, exposing a plot that makes very little sense, god-awful dialogue and a shockingly dated leather/PVC fetish (that must've been one very squeaky shoot).

Sorry.