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  • Independence Day

    Independence Day

    ★★★½

    I’m Baaaaack!”... screams Randy Quaid’s Russell Case as he flies to annihilation. Now if you’re anything like me you’re thinking “damn I wish he’d died about two hours ago, instead of being freaking irritating every single second he’s on screen”

    Coincidentally I’m back, not that anyone noticed I’d gone. No explanations, let’s just say... it’s been emotional.

    Talking of emotions, Independence Day stands as the film that has received the loudest cheer I’ve ever witnessed at a cinema. And you…

  • The Conjuring 2

    The Conjuring 2

    ★★½

    Warning: possibly obscure UK TV references ahead.

    Do you know what The Conjuring should have taken more inspiration from?

    Eastenders

    Said NOBODY....

    and yet...

    here we are.

    And my God do they go for it... London Calling by the Clash just in case you’ve got a very short attention span, followed by more ‘Cor blimey guvnors’ than a Dick Van Dyke impersonation competition. Soap opera level writing and acting. It does settle into something less reprehensible than its opening ten…

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  • Despicable Me

    Despicable Me

    ★★★½

    Jeepers it's been hot. I mean really hot. During a stretch in July after a few terrible night's sleep from the heat, I made the bold decision that I was going to sleep in the relative cool of the garden. So the next day I cleared out the summer house, gave it a hoover and then furnished it with a double airbed, sleeping bags, an electricity feed from the garage and solar powered fairy lights. That's how my daughter and…

  • Five Guns West

    Five Guns West

    ★★

    Wild West Summer 2018

    Film 2/30
    Task 21 - Watch a Western featuring Dorothy Malone.

    I’d kind of forgotten that Roger Corman, a director better known for horror films, started his directorial career with a bunch of Westerns. Five Guns West was in fact Corman’s directorial debut. Unfortunately he still seems to be learning the ropes because the sum total of his direction seems to be:

    (1) Line up all the cast in a stage like fashion that seems quite…

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  • The Wizard of Oz

    The Wizard of Oz

    ★★★★★

    Do you ever wish you could forget one of your favourite films, just so you could experience it again for the very first time?

    I have. 

    The two options are probably extremely dangerous brain surgery or numerous rounds of expensive hypnotherapy.

    I've decided having children is the marginally less dangerous but ridiculously more expensive way of achieving this.

    I've just watched The Wizard of Oz with my daughter on my lap. I experienced her every laugh at something funny, her…

  • Dr. No

    Dr. No

    ★★★★

    Nobody ranks Bond better for Bond-a-thon

    "World domination, the same old dream. Our asylums are full of people who think they're Napoleon. Or God."

    I have general rule about the Bond Canon which I'll keep returning to, it is at its best when it tries to break the mould that it's previously established. It's a series that's constantly reinvented itself for the changing times. For me as a general rule, the last film a Bond actor makes is usually their…