• The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    The Texas Chain Saw Massacre


    Could Texas Chain Saw Massacre have been rated PG-13?

    In the back of my mind I remembered Tobe Hooper wanted this to be a PG-13 film. Instead, it was nearly an X-rated movie and was also banned in many countries even as an R. I wondered if I misremembered how violent it is, and how on earth Hooper thought it could pass for PG-13.

    Conclusion: Texas Chain Saw Massacre actually doesn’t resort to gore (as the genre would soon evolve…

  • Huesera: The Bone Woman

    Huesera: The Bone Woman


    A case of prenatal depression plus postpartum depression with a dash of witchcraft!

    A seemingly capable but utterly nervous wreck gets pregnant and unravels as she believes she sees a woman throw herself off a balcony and then disappear, only to reappear and haunt her in various ways during her pregnancy. The anxiety is compounded by her dysfunctional family and revisiting a relationship with an old flame. It’s one unnerving scene after another where after the first two acts I…

  • The Castle of Fu Manchu

    The Castle of Fu Manchu


    For a movie that will never be known for its fight sequences I want to start out by saying this movie has the worst fight sequences ever.

    This is the last of five Fu Manchu movies played by the inimitable Christopher Lee who is now threatening the world with a device that controls the ocean. Following a really lackluster The Blood of Fu Manchu where we barely even see Christopher Lee, he’s far more prominent here which makes this a…

  • Luther the Geek

    Luther the Geek


    I always get my TV remote “trigger finger” ready immediately when I see “A TROMA PRODUCTION”, I have little tolerance for their vast catalog. There are some I really like (Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ‘Em High come to mind) but they tend to produce a lot of silly, amateurish movies that lots of people love but I’m not one of them. So which way would Luther The Geek go?

    I could tell immediately that this wasn’t “typical” Troma.…

  • Don't Torture a Duckling

    Don't Torture a Duckling


    I’ll come clean. I’m not really a fan of giallo. I’ve watched dozens of them and completely get it, but movies are subjective. Art is subjective. I appreciate them and understand why people love them, but like country music or Fauvism, giallo doesn’t connect with me. What DOES connect with me are the horror movies of Lucio Fulci. 

    There is so much of what I love about Fulci here. Wet, dirty hands plucking needles, caressing a mysterious voodoo totem. A child…

  • In Pursuit

    In Pursuit


    Coolio’s trademark hairdo is showcased here. He plays a prison cop with Coolio hair. I kept thinking couldn’t Coolio fix his hair for this role so he looks like a cop and not Coolio in a cop outfit? RIP Coolio.

    In Pursuit is exactly the kind of low-grade direct-to-video crime drama you’d expect when Daniel Baldwin is the lead and Claudia Schiffer and Coolio are in substantial supporting roles. Dean Stockwell is in here somewhere too, but isn’t really used.…

  • Sisu



    This is all kinds of Rambo, John McClane and Eastwood with a presentation style right out of Dark Horse Comics. It’s ridiculous and shallow, ultra-violent and campy, but it’s exactly the kind of old-school action movie I’ve been waiting for.

  • Matinee



    “We want MANT! We want MANT!“

    We NEED Mant. I’m still waiting, now thirty years later.

  • Tetris



    I’ll admit that I wasn’t expecting an international corporate espionage caper and I wasn’t digging it at first but it grew on me. The story of the complicated rights of Tetris deserved this treatment, where we can put “faces” (or at least personalities) to the prople who made it happen. In hindsight, this is exactly how the story of Tetris should play out on the big screen.

    Still. I wouldn’t mind seeing what I had originally imagined someday: a light-hearted…

  • The Super Mario Bros. Movie

    The Super Mario Bros. Movie


    I’m a bad person to rely on for opinions here. If you know me and what I do for a living, you know there is very little chance I’d be critical here unless it was completely flubbed. Hell, I even like the Super Mario Bros movie from 1993.

    I’m relieved that the plot is a simple one, and the story focuses mostly on showcasing major characters. Major celebrities handle the voice acting and it’s all well done though the only…

  • Evil Dead Rise

    Evil Dead Rise


    A fine entry in the franchise, the only negative I have is that it’s very predictable. Even that isn’t such a bad thing as being predictable here means honoring the traditions of its predecessors. Think “The Evil Dead (1981) In A Dilapidated High Rise”. It’s almost a remake, but let’s call it a “re-imagining” or the trend of the day, a “requel”.

    That said, you get everything you expect and want in an Evil Dead film. Necromonicon, summoned fast-low-flying summoned…

  • Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

    Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves


    I’ve played a LOT of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. From my high school days and well into my adult life, I’d wager I spent a thousand hours geeking out with dice, miniatures, good friends and too much alcohol. I love the brand but haven’t loved too much about what it means beyond the maps and dice role-playing game. A few good videogame adaptations to date, that’s about all.

    What I didn’t expect from this movie is that it feels like a…