The Nun ★★

I'm tempted to say that it's ironic that this is likely closer to Soavi's THE CHURCH than Guadagnino's SUSPIRIA is going to be to, um, SUSPIRIA, but of course the "gateway to hell" trope is well-trod. The opening scene shows a fair bit of promise, particularly, and I was with the next ten minutes of slow exposition. But this movie can't decide if it wants to be an atmospheric creepy Gothic horror or a full-bore crazy assault on the senses or a slapstick ARMY OF DARKNESS-style comedy (admittedly the latter is only sprinkled through, but in very disruptive ways). I can imagine a film that threads the curve on all three, but this is just like when you mix a bunch of bright colour paints together and you get a murky brown.