Favorite films

  • Jaws
  • The Thing
  • Stop Making Sense
  • Possession

Recent activity

All
  • We're All Going to the World's Fair

    ★★★

  • The 4th Man

    ★★★★

  • The Northman

    ★★★½

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • We're All Going to the World's Fair

    We're All Going to the World's Fair

    ★★★

    What if someone made a horror movie but instead of typical jump scares and gore, the monster was loneliness and it gets you by reaching into your brain and pushing the buttons labeled "consider the impermanence of internet friendships" and also "oh no, men online!"

    Glad I am too old for this shit tbh. The worst we had was leaving emo lyrics in our MSN names or AIM away messages phew

  • The 4th Man

    The 4th Man

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "I lie the truth."
    Dutch horror/thriller that tells you right off the bat that our protagonist is an alcoholic unreliable narrator, which keeps you wondering how much of the bisexual Catholic guilt nightmare you're seeing is real, premonition, or imagination. And then questions start getting answered... or do they? It's Paul Verhoeven and has some of the things I expect from him, like dick trauma, unsexy sex scenes, and gore that feels out of nowhere. But it also feels a…

Popular reviews

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  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★★★

    Multiverse kung fu nihilism shenanigans featuring intergenerational trauma and Raccaccoonie. It's perfect

  • Night of the Demon

    Night of the Demon

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Because of this movie, any time I think about Bigfoot for the rest of my life I'm going to think about how Bigfoot ripped a guy's dick off

    This movie is really all over the place but there is a significant portion dedicated to Bigfoot raping a girl and her giving birth to a half Bigfoot or something. The baby looks like a normal human baby doll but covering in shit and makes monkey noises.

    I don't know if more people should watch this or not tbh.

    Halfway to Halloween 2022