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  • Look Who's Talking

    Look Who's Talking

    First watch: 1990. 15 years old. 'Dude! That baby is hilarious! Must be fun having a kid.'


    Second watch: 2017. 41 years old. 'Fuck this unrealistic crap. Needs a remake by David Lynch.'

  • Lion

    Lion

    ★½

    Contains more sugar than the candybar.

    We all know this is just Google trying to convince us it's okay they're tracking our every move, right?

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  • Frozen

    Frozen

    ★★★

    Daughter 1: Daddy, can we watch Frozen?

    Me: Sure thing, honey. Does your brother want to watch as well?

    Son: What's it about?

    Daughter 1: Oh it's about princesses and true love!

    Son - blank stare-

    Daughter: and there's a snow monster.

    Son: Let's roll.

    -movie finishes, Daughter 1 is blaring Let it Go at the top of her lungs-

    Me: What'd you think, buddy?

    -Son gives me a look-

    Me: C'mon, wasn't that bad was it?

    Son (these are…

  • Grown Ups 2

    Grown Ups 2

    ½

    $246,984,278 worldwide.

    Our species does not deserve to live.