This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
DirkH’s review published on Letterboxd:
This review may contain spoilers.
Could be spoilers and stuff. You shouldn't care.
Meter 1 - Let's correct that spelling.
Metre 2 - Ooh, some lovely foreshadowing red wine in the swimming pool. Quick! Mention a shark!
Metre 3 - bla bla relationship shite bla bla my boyfriend left me cause I'm boring bla bla
Metre 4 - let's go out and meet random strangers!
Metre 5 - yeah! Then my ex will think I'm fun!
Metre 6 - oh look random hot Mexican boys!
Metre 7 - bit of snogging
Metre 8 - sure we'll go with you on a shady underwater shark tour hot Mexican boys!
Metre 9 - yet even more foreshadowing
Metre 10 - I'm not going!
Metre 11 - Your ex will think you're boring!
Metre 12 - vamos!
Metre 13 - Hi I'm the creepy captain of the shady shark tour!
Metre 14 - Vamos!
Metre 15 - Look at that dingy cage we're gonna go in!
Metre 16 - Vamos!
Metre 17 - Hi I'm the creepy Mexican deck hand!
Metre 18 - Vamos!
Metre 19 - And I'm just gonna chuck some blood and dead fish in the water to lure the sharks which is totally illegal!
Metre 20- Vamos!
Metre 21 - No vamos! This is not ok!
Metre 22 - Your ex will think you're boring!
Metre 23 - Oh you! That gets me every time! Vamos!
Metre 24 - 20 ft shark swims by screaming: "Look at my foreshadowing ass!!"
Metre 25 - let's get in the dingy cage!
Metre 26 - There are no sharks here.
Metre 27 - Shark: Dude, did you not see my foreshadowing ass?
Metre 28 - cable mechanism snaps, dingy cage goes down
Metre 29 - Shark: See?
Metre 30 - Oh. My. God. We're........ 47 metres down!
Metre 31 - Now I'll just leave this cage to swim up a bit in this shark infested water.
Metre 32 - The door is stuck!
Metre 33 - I'll take my oxygen tank off to fit through and.....
Metre 34 - It won't fit
Metre 35 - Shucks I'll just take my mask off as well!
Metre 36 - Should I mention the sharks now for the millionth time just to be sure everyone gets it?
Metre 37 - Creepy Captain: Get back in the cage nitwit, sharks are dangerous!
Metre 38 - Touching heart to heart about ex boyfriends and whatnot at 47 metres down. In a cage. Surrounded by sharks. And running out of air.
Metre 39 - let's leave the cage again for a bit!
Metre 40 - Shark: Oh goody, lunch!
Metre 41 - Is that creepy Mexican guy going to save us?
Metre 42 - Don't know. I'll swim out for a bit!
Metre 43 - plays hide and seek with a shark..........at 47 metres down (lest you had forgotten)
Metre 44 - Shark: Hah! Look at me totally jumpscaring your ass and eating Mexican food! I warned you!
Metre 45 - Listen Shark, we're far too busy verbally explaining every single thing we do and wasting our air in the process, ok? Jeez.
Metre 46 - we're saved! Oh no we're not....but Creepy captain is dropping down oxygen tanks which he says is dangerous because it might cause us to hallucinate . But that's never gonna happen, right?
Metre 47 - lesson learned: be boring and don't snog random hot Mexican boys.