Odd Thomas

I shall now write a review about Odd Thomas. I will use words that make up sentences that together make up the review about Odd Thomas. It is important that I tell you this because I want to be very certain that you will be able to follow and understand everything. I will use words like 'the', 'acting', 'was', 'atrocious'. But also many, many others, so don't be afraid if you lose track, I'll make extra sure to explain everything.

You will now see a picture of a cat.

Cat

You have now seen a picture of a cat. It was white and had two different eye colours. It is important that I tell you this because I want to be very certain that you will be able to follow and understand everything.

Odd Thomas is a film. A film is a type of entertainment. It is based on a book. A book is another type of entertainment. They are completely different. They are not the same. One uses moving pictures the other uses letters, words and sentences. The one that uses moving pictures is called film, the other is called book. It is important that I tell you this because I want to be very certain that you will be able to follow and understand everything.

Voiceover

Perhaps I should write something about the acting and how terrible it was. I could say something like: "The entire cast was awful. The line delivery was flat and completely artificial. The worst offender was the Addison Timlin who I'd like to smack in the face repeatedly with a thesaurus opened on the page where it says intonation."

End of voiceover

The entire cast was awful. The line delivery was flat and completely artificial. The worst offender was the Addison Timlin who I'd like to smack in the face repeatedly with a thesaurus opened on the page where it says intonation.

You will now see a picture of a chair.

Chair.

You have now seen a picture of a chair. It is blue and had pictures of animals on it. It is important that I tell you this because I want to be very certain that you will be able to follow and understand everything.

The book (the one with the letters and words and sentences) is a fun and cleverly written tale of paranormal investigation. The film (the one with the moving pictures) seems to have been written by a two year old who seems to have found a box of crayons and a colouring picture and has just started scratching away in an attempt to stay within the lines. What I just wrote is a figurative comparison. The child is actually the screenwriter (who also happens to be the director and the producer), the colouring picture is the plot (which isn't half bad) the scratching away is the awful narrative. It is important that I tell you this because I want to be very certain that you will be able to follow and understand everything.

Voiceover

At this point it is perhaps time to explain that the real problem in this film is the ridiculous amount of explaining it does. Everything you see is mentioned. Every voiceover is used to simply describe what we see on screen. It sometimes felt as if this was the first film made for blind people.

End of voiceover

The real problem in this film is the ridiculous amount of explaining it does. Everything you see is mentioned. Every voiceover is used to simply describe what we see on screen. It sometimes felt as if this was the first film made for blind people.


You will now see a picture of The End.

The End

You have now seen a picture of The End. It was a picture with the letters T, H, E, E, N, and D. The letters were sparkly. Together they spelled the words The End, meaning that this will be the end of the review. It is important that I tell you this because I want to be very certain that you will be able to follow and understand everything.

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