This is two movies, and everyone seems to only talk about the second one. You know, the one where a blood-spattered Nicolas Cage stares maniacally into the camera. The one with the face- and shapeless Ceno-Bikers. The one where Cage fights an outrageously phallic chainsaw battle, can't convince his own instrument to work, but manages to impale his opponent on his own, blood spraying out from under the convulsing body. The one where, in the end, Cage burns down religion…
So this is it.
Is it a great movie? Very likely not. But holy hell it's great that it exists in this form.
Yes, under any normal circumstances, this would not have been released in this form, and under any normal circumstances, this would be a good thing.
But it's not normal circumstances, and ZSJL is as far from normal as a demonstrative blockbuster movie can be. Yes, yes, there's well known superheroes and lots of pathos and special effects…
This feels a lot closer to something that should have been released while Jessica Alba was still the Invisible Girl in the Fantastic Four, not so much now. The constant bickering between Tom Hardy and his gooey alter ego is annoying by minute three, and the old "talking to the inner voice noone can hear and accidentally saying something embarassing out loud" joke was barely funny the first time, and definitely not at all funny by repetition number 27.
Man, this world is a shitty place.
Yes, this is supposed to be a horror movie marathon, and FLESH+BLOOD might not fit those criteria too closely on first sight. Because this is some romantic knight's tale, about a maiden having to chose between the dreamy yet rough robber baron to be and the dreamy yet geeky intellectual knight to be. Right?
Oh so wrong. Yes, that may be the surface of the main plot. But man, this world is a…
Every time I stumble upon screenshots or short scenes and sequences from Mario Bava's movies, I vow to finally watch more of them. They just look so absolutely gorgeous. I keep collecting them, and they, mostly, keep collecting dust. Why is it so hard for me to pop them in (or, well, hit play on the streaming service du jour)?
This one kind of helps me answering this question. I adore BLOOD AND BLACK LACE, I really do. I fondly,…