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  • Catch Me If You Can

    Catch Me If You Can

    "Oh, oh, Steven! And then, and then ... there was this one time I dressed up in the James Bond clothes! And I bought an Astin Martin! And then I fucked the hottest model in the world!"

    *Spielberg nodding excitedly and scribbling notes*

    -

    The touching true story of the world's biggest asshole and the unlikable, incompetent lawman hot on his heels.

    Spielberg moves heaven and Earth to lionize this crybaby criminal without spending one half of a split fucking…

  • Blood Rage

    Blood Rage

    ★★½

    The script and cinematography are totally artless, but it does feature a legitimately impressive dual lead performance and some pretty good splatter. The score has a couple killer moments too.

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  • Hold the Dark

    Hold the Dark

    ★★★★

    Thrillingly inscrutable. The incredibly versatile Jeffrey Wright shines as the leading man/reluctant hero. Alexander Skarsgard is terrifying. And Saulnier brings the brutality, again.

  • Revenge

    Revenge

    An Incomplete List of Things that This Movie Seems to Not Understand Particularly Well:

    - Guns
    - Cars
    - Beer cans
    - Wounds
    - Peyote
    - Rape
    - Sounds
    - Glass
    - Triage
    - Female empowerment