noah del

noah del Patron

Mike Meyers’ The Cat in the Hat is a cinematic masterpiece

Favorite films

  • Cloverfield
  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  • Spider-Man 2
  • The Shining

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  • Dune: Part Two

    ★★★★

  • Shaolin Soccer

    ★★★½

  • Kung Fu Hustle

    ★★★★

  • American Movie

    ★★★★

Pinned reviews

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  • Spider-Man 3

    Spider-Man 3

    ★★★

    My girlfriend said this as Sandman was flying away at the end: “Wait he can’t have sex anymore, when he puts it in his wife’s wet pussy, it’ll just crumble.”

    I had to walk out of the room I was so stunned

  • High Life

    High Life

    ★★★

    some dude behind me to his friend: “hey this sucks can i leave and i’ll meet you after it’s done?”

Recent reviews

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  • Dune: Part Two

    Dune: Part Two

    ★★★★

    bro was under the effects of Flowberry Fizz for too long

  • Shaolin Soccer

    Shaolin Soccer

    ★★★½

    man what a double feature with Kung Fu Hustle. just as bonkers as i expected and had an absolute blast. We truly need balls to the wall funny ass comedies again as a society

    also like…the most pristine 35mm print I’ve seen in a minute!

Popular reviews

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  • Before Sunrise

    Before Sunrise

    ★★★½

    me towards the beginning of this movie: Ethan Hawke’s character is annoying and there’s no way this is really love

    me at the end of this movie: I’M DEPRESSED AND THIS MOVIE REALLY IS LOVE

  • Jumanji: The Next Level

    Jumanji: The Next Level

    ★★★

    me in college in filmmaking classes: man i can’t write for shit, who would ever laugh at such dumb jokes?

    me watching Jumanji: The Next Level at 1:45 on a Sunday afternoon while my entire audience laughs their ass off at a testicles joke that goes on for almost three minutes: holy fuck