• The Feast

    The Feast

    If i'm ever in a house that's made up of 80% glass and i hear an ominous whooshing synth tone i am packing my bags and heading to the nearest McDonald's to just ride out whatever is about to happen.

  • The Harder They Fall

    The Harder They Fall

    ★★★½

    The cast is all aces. They easily overcome the director (Seal's brother) and Jay-Z trying to turn the first half into a lackluster musical showcase for their remixes and b-sides. The back half rules so hard

  • Dune

    Dune

    ★★★½

    Timmy Chandelier probably has a little worm if you know what I mean 🥴

  • Event Horizon

    Event Horizon

    ★★★½

    I understand why people are like "this COULD be a good film but it isn't" because the characters and dialogue are so bland. The sets and pacing and gross factor though are all TOP notch, and I think all the actors do a very good job despite being given very little to work with. It definitely feels like a crew more than most groups of people do in this genre.

  • Corpse Bride

    Corpse Bride

    well well well looks like someone didn't have Henry Selick around to animate something in a color other than blue.

  • Young Frankenstein

    Young Frankenstein

    ★★★★½

    There is always one joke I forget about every time I watch it that just knocks it all the way the fuck outta the park.

  • Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge

    Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge

    Sometime's your spouse gets a phone call that their old family dog just got put down and it's your solemn obligation to watch "Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge."

  • The French Dispatch

    The French Dispatch

    ★★★

    This movie is a lock to win the Oscar for set design and also "most narrated."

  • Near Dark

    Near Dark

    ★★★

    If I were a vampire and the sun were coming up I would simply turn into a bat and fly away.

  • The Good Liar

    The Good Liar

    ★★★½

    Are the tables turned in the most stupidly obvious fashion possible? Yes. Could I watch Ian McKellen and Helen Mirren chew scenery for five hours straight? Yes.

  • Final Destination 5

    Final Destination 5

    ★★★

    It's like 90 minutes of David Koechner and Tony Todd riffing their asses off and little pink balloons full of red paint popping. Appreciated the nice mix up between red herrings in the rube goldberg traps and the straightforward one where someone gets obliterated exactly how the setup telegraphs.

  • Possessor

    Possessor

    ★★★★

    "I LEARNED IT FROM YOU DAD!" - Brandon Cronenberg