The Amazing Spider-Man 2

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Bloated, confused, and unnecessarily grandiose, the majority of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 plays out like Paul Giamatti's foreboding portrayal of the mechanized fortress Rhino.

Ignoring the disillusioned horde of action-minded writers' input, Marc Webb inevitably told the simple love story he clearly wanted to tell, treating the villains'' subplots like background noise. With the simultaneous, rarely overlapping, love struck teenagers and bad guy begets bad guy begets bad guy narratives, the entire superhero paradigm could have easily been a metaphor for Peter overcoming his past and the things that stood in the way of him being with Gwen. That combined with the quirky awkwardness that encapsulated their relationship makes me think a more apt title would have been (500) Days of Spiderman.

Whether intentional or not, the romantic dynamic presented here is eerily similar to Sam Raimi's critically acclaimed Spider-Man 2, the only major difference (aside from flowing more naturally) being that Gwen is aware her superhuman crush slings webs in his spare time. The occasionally tedious moments Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone share on screen provide the most electric and, quite frankly, the only heartfelt scenes this film has to offer.

Aside form the romantic dynamics, I see no need to explore or dissect any other aspects of this film (seeing as they are all equally horrible). My prediction: Spider-man doesn't high five someone who offers him one, and that person becomes doctor octopus... It'd totally fit into the villain progression thus far...

Bottom line, this is the laziest superhero film in recent memory. With next to no redeeming features, Spider-man 2 stands out from the rest as the most poorly written excuse for an action film since the first Sam Raimi Spider Man (yes, even the abysmal third Spider Man was superior in vision). I can't recommend this to anyone aside form the gin-swilling popcorn-flick masses that saturate America... Any true film fan will immediately realize that this movie is a disaster.