• The Seduction of Inga

    The Seduction of Inga

    ★½

    In my quest to watch as many Cannon and Cannon related films as I can, I watched the entire thing before realizing The Seduction of Inga is a different movie than Inga, and is in fact the sequel which was not a Cannon film (that I’m aware of). Oh well.

  • Revenge of the Ninja

    Revenge of the Ninja

    ★★★½

    Someone watched that Simpsons episode where Lenny keeps getting items in his eye, traveled back to the early 80's and made this movie based on that alone and then added ninjas. And it's great. If you like ninjas, Cannon films, and sharp objects in everyone's eyes, then you can't go wrong with this one. It also has a kid fooling a henchman by saying, "hey look! It's Superman!" and the moron actually looks. Classic.

  • Young Warriors

    Young Warriors

    ★★½

    Well, at least I check another Cannon film off the list. It was entertaining enough but definitely a strange entry. Weird frat pranks in the first 15min and then turns dark incredibly fast and becomes a vigilante film with violent rapes and murders. At least I think that's what I watched, the YouTube upload I found had poor picture quality. As expected.

  • Bolero

    Bolero

    George Kennedy is the best.

  • Runaway Train

    Runaway Train

    ★★★★½

    I watched this a few weeks ago but wasn’t really paying attention, it was just on as background noise. So I gave it my full attention today. What an amazing, underrated action-drama put out by Cannon Films of all companies. Not known for “quality” movies, this was their crowning achievement, at least as far as being taken seriously by whomever gives out film awards (Bloodsport is still their best in my personal opinion-but definitely not an opinion shared by critics.…

  • The Slumber Party Massacre

    The Slumber Party Massacre

    ★★½

    I should’ve counted the jump scares. Also, they eat pizza off the delivery guys dead body.

  • Smiley Face Killers

    Smiley Face Killers

    Crispin Glover can’t save this from being painfully slow and boring. The actors all sound like they’re on sedatives for the majority of the film. Dialogue is super quiet. All I ask is to be entertained and this one failed to do that.

  • Pirates

    Pirates

    Might be the biggest turd of a movie I’ve come across in years.