• Anna and the Apocalypse

    Anna and the Apocalypse

    ★★★½

    Ella Hunt in a shirt and tie singing cheesy pop songs while killing zombies can be so special.

  • Scream

    Scream

    ★★★

    The Force Awakens direct beat-by-beat fan service homages + The Last Jedi’s (occasional, in this) bold choices and surprisingly emotional legacy character performances + The Rise of Skywalker’s endless fake-out deaths and hilariously silly retconning = Scream (2022)!

  • Scream 4

    Scream 4

    ★★★★

    I am once again astronomically down bad for Kirby Reed!

  • Scream 3

    Scream 3

    ★★½

    Courteney Cox’s bangs are a meta representation of the film—they’re trying to be new and fresh, but it just doesn’t work! It’s Scream’s Spectre moment.

  • The Raid 2

    The Raid 2

    ★★★★½

    Me: no action scene will top this

    Me (ten minutes later): WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

    …rinse and repeat that formula for 150 minutes!

  • The Tender Bar

    The Tender Bar

    If you have a shot every time someone inquires about JR’s name you will pass out very quickly. If you want an easier and healthier way to pass out, you could simply watch the film The Tender Bar (dir. George Clooney, 2021) for more than 30 minutes and that should do the trick as well!

  • Scream 2

    Scream 2

    ★★★½

    Timothy Olyphant you will always be famous!

  • The King's Man

    The King's Man

    ★★½

    Matthew Vaughn clearly wanted to make a movie about pacifism and the horrors of war while staging a big WWI set piece a la Dunkirk. He probably couldn’t get the money for that and instead decided to mesh that deadly serious father-son war story around a silly Kingsman vs. the league of extraordinary (evil)men movie where a father gets his son to covertly seduce and poison bisexual paedophile Rasputin. They’re decent on their own, but boy do they not mesh.…

  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    ★★½

    This becomes too cartoony and killing Roxy is a dreadful choice but everything’s made up for by THAT death scene. Tears… everywhere!

  • Scream

    Scream

    ★★★★½

    Matthew Lillard delivers the best performance in the history of cinema. Icon!

  • RoboCop

    RoboCop

    ★★★★½

    Seeing all those practical blood squibs just made me happy. Let’s bring back practical squibs for the love of god!

  • The Tragedy of Macbeth

    The Tragedy of Macbeth

    ★★★★

    Do you reckon Shakespeare sat up in his chair and just smiled like a devilish genius when he wrote the twist? Did he know the power it’d have for centuries? What a king. 

    This does something I’ve wanted more with theatre adaptations in that it actually embraces the aesthetic artificiality of a stage play while still feeling cinematic. Seeing Denzel do Macbeth is a gift to the world.