"Watch Hancock since you just watched I, Robot and I Am Legend," I said, "It'll be fun," I said. Phooey. The first, superhero half of this movie is completely unenjoyable, meatheaded, obnoxiously excessive, and sloppy on every level. The second, Will Smith-fucks-your-wife half of this movie is unceasingly awkward and emotionally incoherent. Hancock's costume sucks shit. The eagle motif sucks shit. The depiction of prison and Hancock's easy breezy rehabilitation sucks extra shit. This movie feels like a fucking Air Force commercial, even more than superhero movies usually do.