Suspiria ★★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Why is everybody in this movie indestructible?

Olga getting every single bone in her body broken? Nah, she’s good, she’ll walk it off.

My girl Tilda becoming fuckin Nearly Headless Blanc? Nah, she’ll be fine, her spine still works somehow.

Patricia turning into some wrinkly ass monster and getting her intestines cut out? Nah, she’s still kicking.

Like, just die, you’re taking the sweet release for granted you ass clown.

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