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Lightyear 2022
God, imagine if your kid lost his shit over this. Worse - imagine if the ten-year-old boy who owned you, to whom your every moment of love and thought is dedicated, the giant who gives you purpose, brings this astronaut home and makes you re-enact scenes out of a two-star riff on 2001: A Space Odyssey. Mr Potato Head being forced to deliver whiteboard lectures on time dilation, Barbie in a hospital bed saying a tearful goodbye to her old…
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Porco Rosso 1992
Me, at the credits of Porco Rosso, immediately buying the most expensive physical version of this film so that I can bury it in a lead box to survive the apocalypse: me, visibly in tears at the Plane Heaven scene, which was so moving and profound that it reminded me why I make dumbass films in the first place: me, having realised Michael Keaton had a plan all along and I should have just believed in him when I thought…
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