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  • Searching

    Searching

    ★★★★

    By 2020, there will be an episode of Law and Order: SVU entirely shot this way. Ice-T and Richard Belzer will spend three minutes confusedly trying to Gchat with with Mariska Hargitay. NBC will advertise it as a "groundbreaking television event". It will be exactly 1/12th as good as this movie.

    This movie was very good.

  • Christopher Robin

    Christopher Robin

    ★★½

    More than anything this movie made me happy that Bill Watterson is a reclusive purist, so we’ll never have to see a Calvin and Hobbes movie as bad as this.

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  • American Hustle

    American Hustle

    ★★½

    Are we sure this movie exists? If I watched it and I couldn't tell you one thing about it, did I really watch it? Did you watch it? Did any of us actually watch American Hustle?? I choose to think not.

    Thank you for your time.

  • mother!

    mother!

    ★★★½

    Sometimes I'll get drunk and then take a sleeping pill. Stupid thing to do. Don't do it. Especially because sometimes your brain will lash out against your poor choices and show you dreams that start uncomfortable then devolve into the most depraved, horrifying things your subconscious can muster.

    This movie is my drunk sleeping pill dreams. It's disgusting and ethereal and transfixing and I'll never watch it again but I'm glad I watched it once.