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  • Crash

    Crash

    ★★★★½

    9/10
    Never has a film turned me on as much as Crash. Yes, that was a shitty car joke. I will not apologize.

    David Cronenberg has so many hot people in his films, so it makes sense to have all the hot people in this movie fuck each other. Chaotic, erotic, alluring, thrilling, and dangerous, I felt on the edge while watching this. Like James Ballard I was experiencing a thrill that could get too off the rails if you…

  • Crash

    Crash

    2/10
    I heard the stories. I heard the many criticisms of this film, all about how it doesn't say anything important about race other than it's bad. I heard all that and thought, well maybe they're overreacting. It can't be that bad!

    They were right.

    My god were they right.

    This is the original Collateral Beauty.

    This is the Oscar bait movie that everyone talks about when they refer to Oscar bait movies.

    Fuck Brendan Fraser for putting my first name in association with this pile of fucking shit.

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  • Oldboy

    Oldboy

    ½

    1/10
    Studio: All right, Spike. What do you got for us?
    Spike Lee: Ok so let's do an Oldboy remake!
    Studio: Ok that's great and doesn't sound like a complete waste of time! So tell us some of the changes you'll be making. 
    Spike Lee: Ok so let's make Oh Dae Su's name Joe!
    Studio: Sure! Why not?! 
    Spike Lee: Let's also make Oh Dae Su in this version basically Superman where he feels no pain from every stab or…

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★★★

    10/10
    If you hate happiness, music, romance, crying, laughter, or jazz, this film is not for you. If you like any of these things you'll be in agreement that La La Land is the best film of 2016. Half of my class was bawling (especially Brittany) after this film. More thoughts to come but HOT DAMN Damien Chazelle hits it out of the park again! He is unstoppable and we must all appreciate and cherish him.