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  • The Frozen Ghost

    The Frozen Ghost

    ★★½

    Not all that interesting of a film. But Lon Chaney half-heartedly leaping over a table is the best thing I've seen all day.

    Part of my 2018 Cult Movie Challenge

  • Deadly Prey

    Deadly Prey

    ★★★½

    Colonel Hogan!
    What do you want?
    They're all dead!
    Dead Tom's dead?
    That's why we call him Dead Tom!

    I'm paraphrasing since I don't even know which way is up after this movie. I have so many questions. Why does he need to eat so desperately so soon? Why must he spit-wash the worm? Where did he get the caveman club prop? Why is everyone's best insult 'stupid bastards'? Is a grenade in the pants a euphemism? And last but not least, which mercenary said "let's put him in daisy dukes cause reasons"?

  • Hell House

    Hell House

    ★★★★

    I went to one of these as a young teen (but here in CO right around the time this was filmed). Its a painfully manipulative, not to mention intensely bigoted, practice; and this documentary presents that so perfectly without need of any commentary.

  • Pinocchio's Revenge

    Pinocchio's Revenge

    ★★

    Verne Troyer as the voice of Pinocchio's Revenge: The Pinocchioing who escalates from defacing a doll to [attempted] homicide in exactly 1 scene. Disney really took a leap making the sequel live-action back in the 90's when it wasn't "the thing to do" (it's a joke, Disney; don't sue me).

  • Chernobyl Diaries

    Chernobyl Diaries

    ★★

    In Russia, the hills have eyes.
    Not a joke. The Hills Have Eyes in Russia.




    *Ukraine

  • 2Everything2Terrible2: Tokyo Drift

    2Everything2Terrible2: Tokyo Drift

    ★★★★

    madness ~ god ~ cat-massage ~ baldwin ~ lip-o-suction ~ wrestling ~ hunting ~ beanie ~ duane ~ jesus ~ misogyny ~ computers ~ y2k ~ sex ~ vcr ~ rainbow-around-the-moon

    This and every other EiT is my wife and I's comfort blanket. It will never get old.

  • Whisper

    Whisper

    ★★

    To quote my wife: "cliches on top of cliches on top of cliches". Maybe don't kidnap a kid that is the spitting image of Damien the Omen dumbasses.

  • Pulse

    Pulse

    ★★½

    "Even if you upload it, it still doesn't mean it's gonna work. Grrrrrrrrr"

    I saw this in theaters back in college, and a few images and scenes were stuck in my head but I'd completely forgotten where they were from.
    Anyway, it's a fairly shitty movie, but I'm always a sucker for tech-horror, early flip phones, outdated hacker-talk, and replacing greasy old boyfriends with new improved models.

  • Doorways To Danger

    Doorways To Danger

    Always remember to fear everything. Otherwise we can't control you *erm* rather, you will most certainly become a Satanist and that's bad. Just take it from this random guy's painting on how the world works (it's definitely not just christian fantasy art).

    But wait! We also have stories of these 'former [bad thing]' who read one book on [bad thing] and got scared and are therefore proof of [bad thing] being bad.

    I'm going on way too long about this…

  • Dark Star

    Dark Star

    ★★★

    "This is fun."
    -Bomb #20

    Parts of this are hilarious, brilliantly written, and very entertaining. The rest of it is intensely boring. I can't say I'd sit through it again, but it's worth the watch. I also can't help but wonder how much weight and cargo space 20+ years worth of cigarettes would take up.

    Part of my Everybody's Into Weirdness challenge.

  • White Noise

    White Noise

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    What if actually...

    Michael Keaton kills people. Blames television static. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    Just a thought.

  • Wheeler

    Wheeler

    ★★½

    When the Psycho From Texas looks (and dresses) like he fronted Fall Out Boy and half the time he walks it's accompanied by jaw harp, it kinda takes the menacing quality down a bit. Maybe that's just me. It's definitely got that muddy, grimy hicksploitation feel though.