Work for Penguin Random House. I basically read books (also known as pre-movies) for a living.
First and Foremost, we should have Andrew Lloyd Webber arrested for making this abomination a possibility and simultaneously give him a lifetime achievement award for entertainment in cinema.
There will never truly be something written that captures the chaos that IS this film. It’s one of the most upsetting, ugly, inconsistent, bizarre, hilarious, beautiful, confusing, fun, stupid things I have ever seen on screen. From cats dancing on people’s graves to the way every human sign in London…
Oof, this shit sucks. I know this movie is *THE DISCOURSE* but man, this is so bad and it’s genuinely shocking to me that people are like “wow, so much better! He did it!” This is a slog in slo-motion using horrible CGI with a mismanaged soundtrack and the life drained out of it. It’s bad.
This is about the justice league so let’s go through them.
Ezra Miller is swinging for the fences in every scene, just having a…
A Marvel movie in IMAX. My happy place.
I’ve read all the “this feels like phase 1 marvel” takes and honestly, I disagree. I think this is a fantastic “origin” story (we mostly knew her origin but adding the family, sure) that irons out all the origin story kinks that tend to plague those kind of films.
A great cold open sets it all up (literally The Americans and hell, gimme a prequel series with Weisz and Harbour doing super-Americans,…