• Porkin' Across America

    Porkin' Across America


    The Onion’s series are truly horrifying, but I love them. First a reality TV sex show that turns into a kidnapped survival cult and now a TV host loses everything as he gradually transforms into a pig.


  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness


    The first half was not good at all, in my opinion. Filled with jokes that didn’t even come close to landing, a boring CGI fight and a lot of exposition. However, once the horror elements came into play more it was a big step up in quality. You can tell which parts Raimi was most excited to direct.

    The fan service moments were a nice touch, but besides that the “multiverse” part really fell flat. If you’re going to put…

  • The Prestige

    The Prestige


    “Are you watching closely?”

    Well, I sure was this time as it was my first rewatch. I knew I HAD to see this again to appreciate it fully after knowing the whole story—as is typical with Nolan movies—but I gave myself a little time away. Wow, this is so brilliant on rewatch, particularly Christian Bale. This is perhaps Nolan’s most underrated film.

    “Now you’re looking for the secret…but you won’t find it, because of course, you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.”

  • Sex House

    Sex House


    One of the best things The Onion has done. What starts as a satire on sexual reality TV competitions devolves into a dark survival horror story. Here are my favorite quotes from each episode:

    Ep. 1: “There’s so much alcohol they barely left any room for food!”

    Ep. 2: “At this point in time I have to admit that I regret cheating on my wife with a teenage virgin on this television show.”

    Ep. 3: [Two men fighting] “Hey, hey,…

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once


    There is WAY too much going on to include it all in my review, so I’ll just note that I—a non-movie theater crier—cried THREE times during this. I did not expect that. I also laughed a lot and was treated to great action and trippy visuals. That I did expect.

    “No matter what, I still want to be here with you.”

  • The Batman

    The Batman


    As expected, I loved Robert Pattinson as Batman, it was well acted, and the cinematography and design was beautiful. Also as expected, this did NOT need to be 3 hours long. I appreciate the slow, methodical moments all throughout, and I understand that is the point. I’m just saying you can still trim it down. I think it would’ve benefitted greatly.

    In the end, my main gripes were the runtime, a lack of difference between Bruce Wayne and Batman’s personalities…

  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049


    That set design combined with Roger Deakins is unfair. No other movie could hope to compete.

  • Memories of Murder

    Memories of Murder


    I’m so glad I watched this after the news that the real killer was identified and has been in jail for years, because it would’ve bugged me forever.

  • City of God

    City of God


    I can’t believe I let the poster and title put me off watching this for so long. This is a masterpiece.

    I’ll probably bump it to 5 stars when I rewatch this on my own and not rushing to see it on the train as assigned viewing for film class 💀

  • Sicario



    An absolute masterclass in building tension. The combination of Villeneuve’s direction with Deakins’ cinematography, Sheridan’s writing, and Jóhannsson’s unnerving score creates a feeling that things could pop off at any moment. It’s like being blindfolded as you slowly crank upward on a rollercoaster and not knowing when the drop is coming. In particular, the entire border crossing convoy sequence from the planning to the anticipation to the actual brief violence was very well executed.




    This is my first David Lynch. It might be my last David Lynch.

    Lol I’m kidding, of course. I still really want/need to see Mulholland Drive, Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks, etc. But while I knew the premise beforehand, and I know of Lynch’s reputation, I still didn’t care for it. It just felt weird for the sake of being weird. It was giving me the feeling of the “she's so crazzzzzzzy! love her!!!“ meme. Wow look I’m just so quirky I’m interrogating a monkey for murder in a black and white noir 🤪

  • A Short Film About Killing

    A Short Film About Killing


    Look, I know this is a good movie, but it’s just not for me. It might also have to do with this being my 8th consecutive movie in one sitting. Or the (intentionally) ugly green filter.