Seven Brides for Seven Brothers ★★½

Oh for a simpler time when we could just tie up, blindfold, and kidnap the women we wanted, all with the dandiest of choreography.

(Slight upgrade because the three largely nonverbal dance sequences in the midsection really are something. But sheesh, it's too much work to sort through all the boredom and misogyny to get there. This is what clip shows were made for.)