• Jurassic World Dominion

    Jurassic World Dominion

    I for one cannot wait until gene editing is advanced enough so that in-between daily injections of telomerase to indefinitely extend my lifespan I can catch the latest AI generated blockbooster about how good it is that the regime can correct itself after it sciences too hard.

  • Joker: Folie à Deux

    Joker: Folie à Deux

    Mom's gonna freak.

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★

    The right cleaves to reckless masculinity. There’s something very cute about it – an angry little man in a bowtie staring lovingly at a Han Solo type who, without looking at the smaller man, white knuckles a steering wheel and says “this might be crazy enough to work.” And of course it never works and he crashes the spaceship and everyone dies; burning up in the sunset in the bosom of their man-god.

    The first thing you should know about…

  • Flying Phantom Ship

    Flying Phantom Ship

    ★★★½

    This movie has more twists in 60 minutes than Attack on Titan does in 60 chapters.

  • AIKa

    AIKa

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⡿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⠃⠸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠼⣛⣛⣭⢭⣟⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⢆⡠⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⢣⢶⣟⣿⣖⣿⣷⣻⣮⡿⣽⣿⣻⣖⣶⣤⣭⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⠄⢹⠣⣛⣣⣭⣭⣭⣁⡛⠻⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣽⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⡛⢿⣽⢘⣿⣷⣿⡻⠏⣛⣀⠄⠄
    ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⡅⣿⠚⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄
    ⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
    ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
    ⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
    ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠑⣿⣮⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
    ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄

  • Are you lost in the world like me?

    Are you lost in the world like me?

    Only watched 5 seconds of this but you can tell it's a terrible Fleischer pastiche because the characters aren't grooving constantly.

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★★½

    The trouble with cool is that the closer you get to a grand unified theory of it the more elusive it is, but we can still talk about it subjectively if we're lame. So for me a central tenet is that cool does not explain itself, it doesn't condescend to you, it just demonstrates its superiority. Older kids were cool to me through high school because they seemed to know something I didn't, about life or sex or something, but…

  • Pompo the Cinephile

    Pompo the Cinephile

    ★★★★½

    Sunset Boulevard, Mulholland Drive, OUATIH: "Hollywood is a cult or whatever and exploits your dreams and children or something."

    Pompo: The Cinéphile: "Hollywood is an hereditary aristocracy, movies should be 90 minutes, are contingent on the actors being attractive and money guys being subservient to vision, are generated by pain and isolation, have editing as their soul, and are created by children who are groomed for their roles."

    Yeah I think we know who wins for honesty. CLAP does the quiet part loud.

  • Birdy the Mighty

    Birdy the Mighty

    ★★★★★

    Western comics: guy turns into the Hulk

    Eastern comics: guy turns into the Girl

    Guess which is winning at the market.

  • Belle

    Belle

    ★★★½

    Me in 2012: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2013: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2014: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2015: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2016: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2017: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2018: When are we getting the social media movie?
    Me in 2019:…

  • 2001: A Space Odyssey

    2001: A Space Odyssey

    ★★★★★

    One man's journey to turn off the computer.

  • The Matrix Resurrections

    The Matrix Resurrections

    Not nearly enough e-girls or vtubers in this for me to consider it culturally relevant.