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  • Blades of Glory

    Blades of Glory

    Half a star for costume design.

    Half a star for dedication to its bold conceit of presenting as a comedy yet containing nothing recognisable as a 'joke'.

  • Fantastic Four

    Fantastic Four

    Studio exec #1: Great news everyone, our gritty, modern reboot is greenlit and we've secured a red-hot director with no debilitating personality quirks.

    Studio exec #2: Shouldn't the contemporary setting and overall tone perhaps be reflected by renaming Victor Von Doom?

    Studio exec #3: Will Tim Blake Nelson really be believable as a sleazy corporate type?

    Studio exec #4: And Miles Teller as the smartest man alive?

    Studio exec #5: Maybe a coherent script could be called for?

    Studio exec…

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  • Okja

    Okja

    ★★★

    Brad Pitt (War Machine): I hereby commit to celluloid the single most misjudged performance of any Netflix production this year, nay any 2017 release, nay any film in the history of motion pictures.

    Jake Gyllenhaal (Okja): Hold my beer...