• Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★½

    Enjoyable, long, hurts my brain a little but in a good way since we're at least introduced to a good, satisfying number of universes. Somehow feels like I'm 5 years late to the joke ha ha ha ha. The Wong Kar-wai homage got me. Bagel black hole lost me. The ending pulled me right back in. Every style, every substance, all at once.

  • Sunshine

    Sunshine

    ★★★½

    Why are films/studios scared to go full Event Horizon? Pinbacker either deserved full blown chaotic hell or none of it. At least I liked everyone, even the ones I didn't.

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Hmm, annoyed that I have a lot of thoughts considering how stretched its runtime felt. The narrative does absolutely nothing for me as someone who did not enjoy Wandavision. Conflicted because I do enjoy seeing Elizabeth Olsen as a bad bitch. Love a raging bloodbath and Krasinski getting shredded like cheese. Hate that one fight scene with fucking musical notes, too goofy for when we're one stop away from hell! Embarrassing! Also, I beg the MCU to let tension sit…

  • Den of Thieves

    Den of Thieves

    ★★★½

    Convoluted heist film with a Saw finale for the ages, since it doesn't entirely work but sure! Gross and grubby in all the other places. I could feel Gerard Butler's filth on me like a 4DX experience. Thank you, loved it, I'll take it and its sequel.

  • Uncharted

    Uncharted

    ★½

    I think it's nice that they trusted Sophia Ali and her time among Australians/New Zealanders on The Wilds instead of hiring a dialect coach. Meanest thing I've ever said aside, I wish I didn't sleep on it because I don't remember if I had any more thoughts! Bummer! Feels very video gamey I guess.

  • Hellraiser: Deader

    Hellraiser: Deader

    ★½

    Gross, and not good.

    At least I get to watch quintessential y2k scare Hellworld after this as a treat lmao.

  • The Guest

    The Guest

    ★★★★½

    Watched it with my bf so I have no notes on Dan Stevens this time around. Just kidding. He knows all about the gifs. Why do I have the same taste in bad boys and why is it the Winter Soldier?

  • Death on the Nile

    Death on the Nile

    Exquisitely ugly to look at *chef's kiss* and it's not entirely blamed on the CGI. But we love being enthralled by a game and a woman scorned. Legit thought I had somehow accidentally put on Belfast when I was only half paying attention at the beginning. It was pretty funny when I wasn't bored.

  • School of Rock

    School of Rock

    ★★★★

    Heardle got us watching this past 10PM/12AM respectively and I don't think any other movie has got that kind of power over me. Pretty sure 90% of it came from Jack Black's energy. Thought I remembered the kids having more substance (apart from Summer obvs) ....but Billy truly says his iconic line out of nowhere. Love that the Battle of the Bands takes place sometime on a weekday afternoon. Can't believe that Little Nepotis™️ didn't take off.

  • Moonfall

    Moonfall

    ★★

    Nonsensical yet cool as heck moon conspiracy (until the full reveal) unfortunately drowned in standard apocalyptic fare. The second hour is as tragic as it looks, wasn't worth it. Imagine if Borgs instead. Michael Peña seemed like he had fun though. Good for him.

  • Hellraiser: Hellseeker

    Hellraiser: Hellseeker

    ★½

    This sucks. Can't believe they did Kirsty Cotton dirty like that. Can't believe they spent so much time on her asshole husband when she had better motives to take on the leading role. Truly, excruciatingly boring until the thing at the end. Lackluster horniness does not save this movie. I'm so pressed lmao.

  • Hellraiser: Inferno

    Hellraiser: Inferno

    ★★★

    Scott Derrickson's debut feature doesn't disappoint! Who knew!