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  • Cheetah On Fire

    Cheetah On Fire

    ★★½

    Hong Kong action movie about a team of good guys looking for a stolen computer chip and the team of bad guys also looking for that chip. Derivative and weightless, the movie only occasionally ramps up the fun (like a scene where a bad guy is having sex while having a bullet removed from his back). One notable aspect is that there are multiple women in major action roles, in positions of authority. But everything else is pretty bland. Watched on YouTube.

  • Stray Cat Rock: Wild Jumbo

    Stray Cat Rock: Wild Jumbo

    ★★½

    For an hour Meiko Kaji and her gang of obnoxious douchebags do nothing by drive around and sit around and occasionally engage in some bored teenager-level mischief. Then in the last twenty minutes, out of nowhere, a grim heist movie breaks out. It's hard to reconcile the two parts of the movie—but that ending was great. The other stuff, where literally nothing happens—not so much.

    Really, the most interesting thing about this movie was an obvious product-placement temporary billboard featuring Charles Bronson's mug for Mandom, a Japanese cologne, which in turn led me to this hilarious 1970 Mandom ad, again featuring Bronson.

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  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road

    ★★★★★

    I've seen this movie a thousand times. I've watched it on a big screen in front of a yelling crowd. I've watched it in an empty theatre on a Wednesday afternoon. I've watched it on a shitty airplane headrest monitor. I've watched it on road trips, during cab rides, and between subway stops. I've watched it on my phone while walking my dog. I've watched the fan edit on a tablet in an airplane toilet. I've watched it projected on…

  • Rambo

    Rambo

    ★★★★½

    I had to euthanise my dog yesterday and the only way I could think of to relieve my sadness was to watch a condom full of walnuts shoot hundreds of Thai stuntmen with a machine gun. I don't know what that says about me or about grief, but there is something soul-soothing about action cinema that means a lot to me.