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  • Split

    Split

    ★★★

    beastmode james mcavoy is what people turn into after completing no nut november

  • Unbreakable

    Unbreakable

    ★★★½

    me: aight bb talk dirty to me
    crush: superhero movie directed by an artist with a unique vision & visual identity who is allowed to create an original story without being impeached by studios, making it feel like an actual movie & not like a product
    me: ok nut

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  • Rocketman

    Rocketman

    ★★★

    @ the film industry,
    freddie mercury... now elton john. i see that lgbt-icon-rockstar-with-peculiar-teeth trend but unless you cast fucking tilda swinton, i will NOT permit a bowie biopic. in fact, i will 100% shoot a bitch

  • The House That Jack Built

    The House That Jack Built

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    lars von trier: so i'm going to make this movie about a serial killer on his way to hell
    everyone: sounds awesome!
    lars von trier: and he's telling his story to the angel of death who's guiding him there
    everyone: great
    lars von trier: and it's going to be super bloody and graphic
    everyone: hum
    lars von trier: but the thing is
    everyone: what
    lars von trier: the thing is
    everyone: wHAT
    lars von trier: THE KILLER IS ACTUALLY A REPRESENTATION OF MYSELF AND HOW I DEAL WITH MY IMPULSIONS THROUGH MY ART

    please get the man some help, a friend, a hug, plea