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  • Only Yesterday

    Only Yesterday

    A film review, ultimately, functions to either sell the reader on the picture or to give a clear image of how the writer felt overall but I can't really do either today. This feels like one of those films that only you know about, like a childhood memory or a note you've been passed in class. Will you cry the same way I did? Will an older version of myself laugh at all the same moments where I laughed here…

  • Silent Hill

    Silent Hill

    In the middle of some sort of cosmically bad vibe I knew it was time to go headfirst back into the comfort of something very dear to my heart. Maybe it’s the weekend? Weekends always aggravate me, because I never have anything to do. Silent Hill is a comfort zone. The ashes are cozy and the characters something I know. An overarching structure that could be considered “dreamlike” though most video game narratives from this time period could be classified…

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  • Horrors of Malformed Men

    Horrors of Malformed Men

    I want you to build a statue of a horse-headed god to protect this island. It will have three heads and eleven tails, and it is to be crowned with a living horse's head. It has been my dream for 30 years. Use living human flesh to build it. There will never be a greater challenge for a medical graduate.

    I don't really know what else to say beyond this quote. Unraveling the threads of your own life until you're…

  • Shocking Dark

    Shocking Dark

    Imagine if Sarah Connor electrocuted the terminator and Arnie just started talkin like one of the Chipmunks. This is one of those hyper low budget slapped together movies that feels 8 times longer than the runtime. At the very least I managed to forget they were just filming in a water treatment plant and not some kind of sci-fi landscape thanks to the giant red and blue lights plus fog machine goin off every once in a while.

    Geretta Geretta…

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  • Mother's Day

    Mother's Day

    Free for the weekend? Free for the weekend!? FREE FOR THE WEEKEND?!?!???
    ROCKEFELLER MAKES A MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR
    I CAN NEVER BE FREE AS A BLACK MAN IN AMERICA
    ROCKEFELLER MAKES A MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR
    you've just been gooned by the rat pack

    New Jersey Carving Knife Massacre! A subversive nightmare from the smarter Charlie Kaufman! There's a kind of low budget over saturated goodness that I've never been able to see recreated in anything more recent where…

  • Toolbox Murders

    Toolbox Murders

    The transience of all things. The imprints they leave behind. The rot behind the rot, the stench behind the cheap perfume. America is a lot of things but here it is an old corpse covered in wax putty to seem as if new when any life it may have had was evil to begin with or rotted away, eaten to nothing by the very wax meant to hide it's disfigurement, all that is left is terror. The House With The…