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  • Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies

    Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies

    ★★

    When your gut says "no, don't press play", you should listen to your gut. A couple of novel zombie deaths are not enough to save this flaccid zombie comedy. Watch "Braindead" again instead.

  • Friday the 13th

    Friday the 13th

    ★★★

    I've given up my automatic hatred for all things remake. They are inevitable and there are some that end up being actually pretty decent (even a few that are better than the original.) "Friday the 13th" has some good things going for it. The cinematography is way above standard slasher norms, the kills are brutal, and this incarnation of Jason is a very imposing killing machine. On the negative side, this is just too mean to be a proper "Friday…

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  • Rats: Night of Terror

    Rats: Night of Terror

    ★★★

    You can rarely accuse director Bruno Mattei (here under his Vincent Dawn alias) from not delivering on his titles. Sure, the acting is wooden, the dubbing hilarious (check out the Southern belle accent in "Rats"), and technical deficiencies abound, but there are lots of rats. Big ones, small ones, white ones and black ones, fake ones and as is par for many Italian 80's horror movies, real ones that are set on fire and let loose to run around screeching.…

  • The Equalizer

    The Equalizer

    ★★★½

    If watching Denzel Washington take out a Home Depot full of Russian baddies with a store full of power tools for two hours is wrong, I don't want to be right.